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LIKE THE ANCIENT MARINER

   Like the Ancient Mariner  Like the Ancient Mariner Compelled w as he To tell his tale of woe To each and every soul Wherever he did go No other name passed his lips 
But That one No other true love or care Could he bare Yet Sitting by was a gentle and kind heart Listening patiently A greater love he Could never see Nameless to everyone Unknown to all Yet Waiting to catch the other Should the other fall Until one dayThis gentle and lonely soul Heard a voice sayThere is no timeLife is running awayChoose your blissEnough you’ve doneYou will never be to the other oneMore than you are now Unwanted love dies a slow death With every breath 
Of Pain So slowly did this tender  heart die Indeed For the other Waiting by the other’s side In vain     
— Geremia, Dec 20, 2008

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Country/Region: USA

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Critiques

ID

Ink Dragon

17 years 5 months ago

I adore the original

"Ancient mariner", so I could not resist this one, and I think you have done a fine job here. Personally, I would have preferred longer lines. Did you have a special reason to arrange them like that? Or am I missing something obvious here? Poetic Regards, ID
Geremia

Geremia

17 years 5 months ago

Ancient Maariner

J.B. Longo-Geremia Thank you. I use a lot of enjambement to emphasize rhyme or wrods or concepts. Many are not used to my "poetic" style. :) Joe
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 3 months ago

Ann of Norway“Wherever he

Ann of Norway "Wherever he did go " was the only line I didn't like in this one Longobardolino. Otherwise it flowed beautifully and had its tale to tell. Love Annuccia