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Geremia
Geremia
Dec 13, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Confiteor II { I Confess }

Confiteor II                                                                                                             [I Confess] Looking for bliss in all the wrong p lacesToo many strange facesGive away bits and pieces of meNo gain in this marketFortune’s miseryOn a journey running awaySaw my future seven years agoIn another's painSo much for heredity.Wonder if I lost my soulOne day at timeGo with the flowWords only good for this rhymeHeart grown hardSoul coldNo time leftMust let it be
Till the end of this Cosmic Foolery   
— Geremia, Dec 13, 2008

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Country/Region: USA

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A

Arrow

17 years 5 months ago

I feel it, yet I don't.

"One day at time Go with the flow Words only good for this rhyme" I am not a fan of these sayings because they always leave out the important concrete details of how. For me, this poem is a little too vague to create the clearly intense emotion lurking underneath. I need some concrete images. These lines seem esp. promising: "Saw my future seven years ago In another’s pain" What did you see exactly? I am curious to see what others think. Thanks for posting.
Geremia

Geremia

17 years 5 months ago

Confiteor

J.B. Longo-Geremia Thanks. Although I believe that "poetry" leaves much for the re ader to interpret, I can understand and respect your reservations. ALl was explained iin DR EAM DANCE posted on this site. Thanks for rea diiing me, and I do appreciate your comments, 'Joe P.S> You w ill also ssee why I skip when I type. :)