Barbara Writes

Oct 30, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

What a Lie Can Do

What a Lie Can Do

A lie can taint cherish memories
Destroy years of trust
A lie can bring shame to families and friends
Break the heart of the ones you love
A lie can bring reproof causing pain, and
Take away freedom of choice
A lie can strip self-esteem, and
Make true happiness unattainable

Taking responsibility a lie thus removed, and
A damage conscience healed

— Barbara Writes, Oct 30, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Billy Collins, Shakespeare, , Emily Dickinson, , , Whitman, Jess Tapper

Critiques

zarul

17 years 7 months ago

HI BARBARA

WHAT ATRUE POEM this is, you deal with a common subject with great excellency. NICE WORK, my friend SMILE GREAT DAY ZARUL

Barbara Writes

17 years 7 months ago

Zarul

thanks for the comment really appreciate Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Janice Pearce

17 years 7 months ago

What A Lie Can Do

Barbara, I like what you have to say here~ cherish [cherished] stripe [strip] lines 4 and 7 ~~~~~~~~~~~Wanda Sykes For President~~~~~~~~

Barbara Writes

17 years 7 months ago

janice

thanks for the suggestion. have revised before seeing your comment. hope it is better. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

barb

nicely done, the affective distance of a lie is "0" meters thanks, Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Diego

Barbara Writes

17 years 7 months ago

eddie

Thanks, appreciate you for reading work my work and commenting. I have no education in to poetry or literature. i just write and learn from the best poets here and on the Internet. So I looked up meter on line before responding to your comment to have a idea what you mean by (o) meter. Far too complicated for me right now if my other poem have meters is great. I now need to learn what it means. i never comment on meter because i didn't know what it meant. will look into it now. If you meant something else let me know. I see the word meter a lot in poetry and its at the front of my mind to learn it meaning. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Barbara,

I use the word as a measurement "meter" A weapon has a range where it is the most affective, so there in I see a lie as a weapon. when a lie is fired what is it's affective range, for me it is "O" meters Because you always catch who ever fired it in the lie. Sorry didn't mean to confuse, it's just my extensive military training leads me see things not as a poet but as a weapon. thanks, Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Diego

Barbara Writes

17 years 7 months ago

Eddie

Hmmm Thanks for sharing your military take. Now I see your interpret. interesting. Appreciate your comment and reading. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Mark

17 years 7 months ago

Ecxactly

A lie I believe can do many things including protect the innocent but some can certainly destroy. Nice write here Barbara, Mark Man thinks this.

Barbara Writes

17 years 7 months ago

mark

lying in the end even for the innocent can be fatal. thanks for your comment. always meant a lot hearing from you Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Mark

17 years 7 months ago

oooh

AHH Yup! lol Mark Man thinks this.

tbeaudet

17 years 7 months ago

Lovely and true

One suggestion though.... Last line...Damage or Damaged? Tom http://www.neopoet.com/node/12548

Barbara Writes

17 years 7 months ago

tom

thanks for liking it and the suggestion. Will make the change. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

themoonman

17 years 7 months ago

Hi Barbara...

your poem was done so well... flows smoothly... one line caused me to stop... a lie can bring reproof causing pain.. not sure if reproof fits here... it seems like it doesn't... but I may be wrong again... loved the poem though... agreed with Tom's suggestion on the word "damaged" well written poet Richard

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Richard,

for me reproof in this particular instants means, a criticism of some one that is a lie, and that's what causes pain. In keeping with the rest of Barbara theme, "what a lie can do" at least that the way I read it. I guess she'll let us know. thanks, Eddie PS. something just came to mind the writers of the Bible use "reproof" in the same way as a hard criticism for harms done. "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Diego

tbeaudet

17 years 7 months ago

I think I may have to agree with Richard

Reproof is a criticsm of a fault; not sure it fits. May I suggest something like 'may destroy reputation' or "can question one's honor" or something along those lines? Just a suggestion. Tom http://www.neopoet.com/node/12548

Arrow

17 years 7 months ago

Reprisal, maybe

instead of reproof? I like this one. Potent and true.

Barbara Writes

17 years 7 months ago

Richard, Eddie, Tom, and Arrow

Thanks for commenting and the keen interest here. Seems there's a little debate here. Like it. A lie does cause Reproof causing pain. Here reproof means. Criticism is what the female runner got for lying and Punishment when she lost her gold metal. Thanks Richard for the fine praise. Eddie, you are correct in your analysis in both instances I took the meaning from Bible because as in the female runner she was criticize and punish for her dishonesty. Arrow, reprisal and reproof seems to me to be the same. It is appreciated. To me reprisal here would be too strong meaning to retaliate or vengeance is not what I want to convey in this piece. not sure what your interpret meant though. thanks for you input it was well receive. This poem is NOT about the female runner, but her situation help me put that word into focus here. Appreciate all the comments thanks again. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 7 months ago

Barbara,

thank you for clearing that up. a fine job of a poem, kudos to you. thanks, Eddie "do like the once barren tree: flourish and like the planted seed: rise" Jose de Diego

Arrow

17 years 7 months ago

Gotcha

Thanks for clarifying.

themoonman

17 years 7 months ago

Yes...

I stand corrected... thank you Barbara! like I said originally... you did a great job with this one... Richard

leonard daranjo

17 years 7 months ago

There is much truth here Barbara

A like is like a worm that eats an apple from the inside. Leonard

Barbara Writes

17 years 7 months ago

Leonard

Thanks for commenting and i agree with you about the worm. Appreciate your comments as always. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

weirdelf

17 years 7 months ago

Excellent Barbara,

but you know what I think could give it more depth? The first time I read it I somehow skipped the second last line line so saw it as a lie can heal damaged conscience, setting you free, (the lie to yourself). I'm not suggesting you change it, its just that there are different types of lies, necessary ones, tactful ones, denial etc. Just a thought. Maybe another poem. cheers, Jess

Barbara Writes

17 years 7 months ago

Jess

after rereading, i see what you mean. it does need more depth. i was trying to clarify how a lie can cause the damage mention here. i didn't think about the different types of lie, truly another poem. i hope the changes made it clearer. thanks for reading and critiquing. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Rett

17 years 7 months ago

Barbara, I can't believe I missed this

Gem you posted. Somehow I did and I am sorry that I did. It was well worth finding and reading. Lies can do so much damage. Family, work, friends etc. Excellent write. Oh, missed telling you cherish should be cherished if I am reading it right. Second read was great too. Respectfully, Rett: "Life is like a beach. Salty, gritty, somewhat fishy and at other times, downright crabby" Rett: 2008

Barbara Writes

17 years 7 months ago

Rett

glad you found it and enjoyed. thanks for the reading and the crit, my grammar is rusty, will make the correction. i registered for spring classes and one of my courses is another English (not required to take) but its been more than 20 years. all on line classes. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

Barbara Writes

17 years 6 months ago

Yeah Evolution

Respectfully Yours, Barbara