Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Rett
Rett
Jul 15, 2008 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

Dog Dazed

Dog Dazed

I woke up this morning
To a noise in my yard
I grabbed for my housecoat
Ran into something hard

I opened the front door
Ran out to look around
And saw two dogs fighting
There upon the ground

I tried to seperate them
But that was my mistake
For how was I to know
My housecoat they would take

I had on no pajamas
Just my jockey underwear
When one went for my backside
He left me standing bare

Now wouldn't you just know it
Life is so unfair
Just as I lost my modesty
A cop was standing there

Don't hang up 'cause I need bail
I've been here for awhile
And a couple of my cellmates
Have begun to smile

I really don't like the look
They have within their eyes
Hurry up and pay my bail
'Cause I don't trust these guys!

— Rett, Jul 15, 2008

About the Author

Region, Country: Southern Texas, USA

Favorite Poets: Dickenson, Longfellow

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Critiques

infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

18 years ago

OMG!

This is absolutely hilarious! I wish you could submit this for the contest! :~) ~Jess K. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ~"Save the trees, wipe your ass with an owl..." ~"The grass may be greener on the other side, but it still needs to be mowed..."
Rett

Rett

18 years ago

Thanks Jess K

Thanks Jess. I am glad you got a laugh out of it. I would love to enter the contest but being AEC it would be a conflict. I just love to think and write about the ridiculous that did or could have happened. *LOL* It is almost as much fun to write as it is to see. I truly appreciate the comments. Rett: "At twenty, if you are not a Liberal, you have no heart. At Thirty, if you are not a Conservative, you have no brain." Winston Churchill
Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

18 years ago

Rett

Smiles:) Barbara Another good belly achy laugh title was well chosen, language very tasteful and flowed great from beginning to end.
Rett

Rett

18 years ago

Thank you Barbara

I am so glad you found this funny. Laughter adds years to your life and gets rid of stress. To make someone laugh is wonderful. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and give me feedback. God Bless You. Rett: "At twenty, if you are not a Liberal, you have no heart. At Thirty, if you are not a Conservative, you have no brain." Winston Churchill
B

barbsdad2003

18 years ago

This is ...

outrageously wonderful. Superbly written, great subject matter (the author always is, I think), and so, so much fun to read. Thanx, Chuck
Rett

Rett

18 years ago

Chuck

Thank you so very much. Glad you got a chuckle out of it. I also thank you for the very kind words sir. Be well. Rett: Nancy Astor: “Sir, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.” Churchill: “If I were your husband I would take it.”
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

18 years ago

Rett

Thank you for the laughter Rett. Hmm that makes twice you have been exposed {the hospital incident] I think this is becoming a habit? LOL!
Rett

Rett

18 years ago

What can I say Janice

I seem to have a knack for exposing myself. *LOL* Actually this one is total fantasy thank goodness. I am glad you got a laugh out of it. Rett: Nancy Astor: “Sir, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.” Churchill: “If I were your husband I would take it.”
Rett

Rett

18 years ago

Thanks Jess

I appreciate it. Glad you got a chuckle out of it. Rett: Nancy Astor: “Sir, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.” Churchill: “If I were your husband I would take it.”
Rett

Rett

18 years ago

*LOL* yes I remember that one

It was Churchill also. Here is the actual quote. I thought it was Oscar Wilde also. Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.” Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.” Rett: Nancy Astor: “Sir, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.” Churchill: “If I were your husband I would take it.”
tbeaudet

tbeaudet

18 years ago

Reminds me of a line by Peter O'Toole

but I cannot remember the movie. As he staggered into a women's bathroom, very drunk and having to pee, a startled woman said, "Sir, this is for women only!" He slurred, "So is this Madam, but occasionally I have to pass water through it". Hillarious poem Rett...If I were you, I would always wear pajamas and get rid of that troublesome bathrobe.
Rett

Rett

18 years ago

*LOL* I remember that

Now, you realize I am going to go crazy till I remember the movie! Dang it, I just can't stand PJs. I get tangled up in them. *LOL* Rett: "A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." Winston Churchill
R

rider68

18 years ago

Rett Quite Brilliant

I bow in respect, that you seem to be able to roll these off time and time again, Really first class Rett, Loved the humour.......and yes i LoL, as to the quotes very funny, Take care Rett and all, Peter ~~~~~~~~~Creativity Is to think more efficiently~~~~~~~~~~
Rett

Rett

18 years ago

Peter

Thanks so much my friend. I am glad you got a laugh out of it. I always got a chuckle from Sir Winston's quotes. Thanks for the kind words on the poem. Humor is hard to do, but I love a challenge so I try to write them. Be well my friend. Rett: Nancy Astor: “Sir, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.” Churchill: “If I were your husband I would take it.”
Rett

Rett

18 years ago

hmmm, thought I had answered this

Senility strikes again. Thanks Mark, I am glad you got a laugh out of it. Rett: "A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." Winston Churchill
A

Ashfae

18 years ago

Hee!

This made me chuckle. Thanks for the laugh. =)
Rett

Rett

18 years ago

You're welcome

and thank you for the read and comment. Glad it made you chuckle. Rett: "A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." Winston Churchill
themoonman

themoonman

18 years ago

Now that's funny...

unless you are in that situation huh...lol ...lol... very funny and you never lost your rhythm... loved this and I thank you for causing me to laugh, my wife is asking me what is so funny......lol Richard
Rett

Rett

18 years ago

*L* thanks

Glad you got a laugh. Luckily for me this time that it was all in my head. You don't know how many times I edited and rewrote this trying to get it the way I wanted. Thank you for the comments and getting a laugh out of it. I hope the missus doesn't think you're crazy. Respectfully, Rett: "A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." Winston Churchill

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.

Join free Log in