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Rett

Jun 19, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Bi-Polar

Bi-Polar
(a really bad two days, 'nuff said)

A trip into the darkness
Down a twisted lane
Where memories run rampant
Till you’re no longer sane

A turnpike to a tunnel
Where you have lost your way
And no longer hear the words
That I try to say

I am sitting here in dread
Afraid you won’t come back
And I ponder on the comfort
That you seem to lack

While you wander in the darkness
Emotionally I am lost
No longer can I measure
What is the final cost

Still I sit here with you
In love with what remains
While fear is treading heavily
On two hearts filled with pain

Rett 6/18/08

— Rett, Jun 19, 2008

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Southern Texas, USA

Favorite Poets: Dickenson, Longfellow

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More from this author

Critiques

17 years 11 months ago

Rett

I think I said everything I would have said over there on Prozac Aftermath ... This triggers many memories and emotions in me; even more knowing that you are both suffering more than usual these past two days. My thoughts are with you, Ronda

17 years 11 months ago

Ronda

Many thanks. You have already helped a lot with your poem Prozac aftermath. I don't think you really will know how much. Rett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some call me lazy, I prefer Energy Conservationist~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's P.C. speak by the way.

D

DarkinAZ

17 years 11 months ago

I try to understand...

Exactly what the interpetation of this means, I hope it is not of a marriage on the rocks, or an impending seperation. I know too well what that means to those involved especially the kids. I hope I am wrong. Truly an emotional stimulating piece regardless. Your friend, Mark

17 years 11 months ago

Mark

Nothing like that my friend. She has stuck by me through thick and thin. Good times and bad. Through Heart attacks, cutting off toes with the lawn mower (I have a rider now) *L* Through Rheumatoid arthritis and gout. Now she is going through hard times. It is my time to be there for her. All our kids are grown and out on their own. I've had 32 wonderful years so far and looking for more. Thanks more than you can imagine for the concern. My first marriage lasted 2 years with one child, ran off with my best friend and suckered him. I got it right the second time! Thanks for reading. Rett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some call me lazy, I prefer Energy Conservationist~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's P.C. speak by the way.

D

DarkinAZ

17 years 11 months ago

Good, I am happy for you.

Maybe your words just tapped into an inner part of me and the meaning was rearranged to fit my experience. You got it good, buddy. Still great write, Mark

17 years 11 months ago

I hate getting labels.

We are poets and it goes without saying that we are strange passionate people. Those who can't handle the verocity of what we say give us labels. Some who come to NeoPoet may come to understand. really, Jess

17 years 11 months ago

Which labels, Jess?

Bi-Polar? Manic depressive? The names given to the enemies lurking within our minds? I'm respectfully curious about your comment. always, Ronda

17 years 11 months ago

labels sometimes help why we

labels sometimes help why we behave outside the "norm" but they can also be used to make us seem abnormal, defective. An excuse for their own bland behaviour. cheers, Jess

17 years 11 months ago

Jess

Yes, labels can be hurtful at times ie: wimp, etc. but others help identify a problem, chemical imbalances and stuff. I do appreciate your comments and your taking the time to read and let me know your views. I think sometimes we all pay too much attention to labels and you make a good point. Thanks. Rett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some call me lazy, I prefer Energy Conservationist~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's P.C. speak by the way.

17 years 11 months ago

True, Jess. So many social

True, Jess. So many social stigmas. Best, Ronda

16 years 5 months ago

I come back to this 1 1/2 years later

incredibly grateful to have found a label and appropriate medication. I was afraid those meds would take away my poetry but all they took is the constant drama. The world is a whole lot less exhausting Thanks to you Ronda, for putting me on the right path. Cheers, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible

R

17 years 11 months ago

Gene

A Brave and respectful account, Must be a harrowing time, I hope she able to make the trip back safely, I am truly sorry for your pain......a road i wish never to travell, In Thought. Peter ~~~~~~~~~Creativity Is to think more efficiently~~~~~~~~~~

17 years 11 months ago

Peter

Yes, it is no fun, but something that has to be dealt with. Hopefully before too much longer we will find the right cocktail match and she will get somewhat lined out. Sometimes we both wonder if she will come back from the dark path she travels in those times. Too many people walk away because they don't know how to deal with it, hell, I don't know how to deal with it other than to be there for her as she has always been for me. Thanks a lot my friend. Rett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some call me lazy, I prefer Energy Conservationist~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's P.C. speak by the way.

B

17 years 11 months ago

A brilliant write here

And my thanx to you for it. And what makes it so good? 1) It's a knowing, sensitive write; 2) You've got the meter and the rhyme well pat; 3) It's hard to beat a combination like 1) and 2). In appreciation, Chuck

17 years 11 months ago

chuck

Thanks chuck. I appreciate the very kind words and the critique. I have gained a whole new respect and yes, sympathy for anyone and their friends, spouses, significant others who have had to or are dealing with this or similar situations. Again my thanks. Rett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some call me lazy, I prefer Energy Conservationist~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's P.C. speak by the way.

17 years 11 months ago

Still I sit here with you

in love with what remains......brilliant. This says it all my friend. Best wishes to you and yours. Tom

17 years 11 months ago

Tom

Thanks so much Tom. I truly appreciate the comment! Rett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some call me lazy, I prefer Energy Conservationist~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's P.C. speak by the way.

D

DarkinAZ

17 years 11 months ago

Congrats,

On the spotlight! Your friend, Mark

17 years 11 months ago

WOW

Another surprise. Thanks. Rett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some call me lazy, I prefer Energy Conservationist~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's P.C. speak by the way.

17 years 11 months ago

spotlight

Smiles:) Barbara great write

17 years 11 months ago

Deep thanks

*S* Rett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some call me lazy, I prefer Energy Conservationist~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's P.C. speak by the way.

16 years 5 months ago

Reading this again

I am going through a separation. Many thinks I need to see a psychiatrist. Learning what love is and how to love may be the key. I never saw love growing up with two alcoholic parents throwing up, and mama getting beat up. After 49 years together they must love each. If that is love I wanted nothing to do with it. Therefore I try to be the opposite of that love, because it is too painful. I suppose that is why my marriage can't work because I want to be loved, but don't know how to love back according to his expectations. I don't think this is a Bi polar behavior in me. I know a couple that similar to you and your wife she is Bi polar depressive and he love her dearly treats her tenderly. She too take her meds, but have her ups and downs often. They are my true friends. As for me and my hubby I felt him draw away two weeks after our wedding when some one I think MY married landlord at the time who wanted me to be his mistress lay his underwear on the dresser by the front door. My hubby never trusted me after that. He started snoring demanding and insisting acts I abhor even drugging my drinks to get his way among other things that have manifested over the past eighteen years. So I think now is the result of a marriage that should have ended fifteen years ago like I wanted to, and certainly should have ended 10 years ago when he did the unthinkable that destroyed our relationship forever, when I was under the illusion we were getting closer even though I could feel the distant in his heart as he pulled away, pretending to be trying to make it work. Now many thinks I'm a terrible person and he is the victim of my mental state. He is really good at this game. I say what i feel and that only proves him right in the eyes of some. Now I'm starting to learn what real friends are because there are those who genuinely care about me and they make me feel that way. Now I exist only in the spirit of the lord because of him I shall never give up on life. Sorry for the long story. In your poems I can see true love between you and your wife showing me what true love should look like. ~~~~~~~~~ If you don't like it, can't talk about it, then write about it. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

16 years 5 months ago

((hugs))

I hope everything works out for the best for you my friend. Separations/divorces are never easy. things worked out for me the second time around so there is hope. I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am that things have been so bad for you. You have all your friends at Neo standing by though. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. Respectfully, Rett: “Anyone who sacrifices liberty for security deserves neither.” Benjamin Franklin

16 years 5 months ago

Rett

(((Hugs))) You have already done it by being my friend, writing beautiful poems and comments that make me feel better. ~~~~~~~~~ If you don't like it, can't talk about it, then write about it. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

16 years 5 months ago

you know I am always here for you

(((hugs))) much love, Jess, reprehensibly irrepressible

16 years 5 months ago

Jess

Thanks for always being there. (((Hugs))) Much Love Barbara ~~~~~~~~~ If you don't like it, can't talk about it, then write about it. Respectfully Yours, Barbara

R

Rolwright

17 years 11 months ago

Great Write

It's good to reckonize and write your problems but don't dwell on them cause problems become uncontrolable and they will engulf you.Everything happens for a reason,find that reason and learn from it. That's enough ledge, Rolwright

17 years 11 months ago

Rolwright

That is how I have dealt with all my problems over the years. Write about it, get it out and move on. Great insight there Rol. Thanks. Rett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some call me lazy, I prefer Energy Conservationist~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's P.C. speak by the way.

17 years 11 months ago

Hello Rett

The poignancy of this poem really strikes home for me, as I am obsessive cumpulsive, have D.I.D. (disassociative identity disorder) and suffer from depression. My husband of 26 years (on 06-27) has suffered right along with me. He has put up with a lot from me including a suicide attempt. This poem makes me appreciate him all the more. I understand sheer hell, and I think you have captured it well here. five stars! Always, Cat

17 years 11 months ago

Cat

Thank you a lot. You have a special one there. Love has no boundaries and it is sharing both the good and the bad. I really understand and feel for you. People don't understand until they have had to deal with it themselves or with a loved one. Thank you so much! Rett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some call me lazy, I prefer Energy Conservationist~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's P.C. speak by the way.

17 years 11 months ago

Good doing Rett !

Wonderful, it takes a lot of understanding albeit those you love or yourself. Perssonnally I perceive it as something apart from myself and in this way it is easy to maintain :) Mark

17 years 11 months ago

Mark

Thank you Mark. Sometimes you have to treat it as apart from yourself. Rett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some call me lazy, I prefer Energy Conservationist~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's P.C. speak by the way.

17 years 11 months ago

Janice

Thank you and I hope you get control soon. I can understand the way ups and way downs. You take care of your self. Rett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some call me lazy, I prefer Energy Conservationist~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's P.C. speak by the way.

17 years 11 months ago

Congratulations on another

Congratulations on another Spotlight, Rett - and for sharing your experience with so many who might otherwise remain silent. Best, Ronda

17 years 11 months ago

Thank you

It started as just a way to release the tension from the last couple of days and seems to have gotten a life all it's own. I am glad it may have opened a few peoples eyes, but I really appreciated seeing things from the perspective of one who battles it. Your poem really opened my eyes. Thanks so much. Rett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some call me lazy, I prefer Energy Conservationist~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's P.C. speak by the way.

17 years 11 months ago

Hi Rett...

much loved your well written poem... congrats on the Home Page. deserved.... this is a true to life poem that jumps out at the reader.. Richard

17 years 11 months ago

Richard

Thanks Richard on all points. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. Rett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some call me lazy, I prefer Energy Conservationist~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's P.C. speak by the way.

17 years 11 months ago

Rett

"While fear is treading heavily on two hearts filled with pain" What an awesome two lines! Awesome writing Rett~ P.S. second time around for me too, second time's a charm

17 years 11 months ago

Janice

Thank you. I hope the second time is as good as mine has been. This is just another rough patch in the road. Rett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some call me lazy, I prefer Energy Conservationist~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's P.C. speak by the way.

B

blistered-pen

17 years 11 months ago

Reminds me

of a book I finished just this morning, The Brooklyn Follies. A character, Rose I think, was also bi-polar. Your pain reminds me of his (her father) pain. How no matter how far down that road, no matter how many times she comes back, he'll always worry that it's the last time. I'm falling in love with your work, your incredible stories, the way you weave them. Your love for her brought a tear, maybe two, to my eye. Seeing as how much of what you've already been through, there's no choice but to believe it must get better as it has before. I really love this, the love, the fear, the hurt, the sincerity.. Definitely deserving of the spotlight. Kudos to you Rett Beautiful work

17 years 11 months ago

Blistered Pen

Thanks a lot. I can't really say that I have had a rougher time than anyone else. Each person has their own trials and tribulations. You play the hand that is dealt you and you make the most of it you can. Thank you for your very kind words. I most humbly appreciate it. Rett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some call me lazy, I prefer Energy Conservationist~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's P.C. speak by the way.

C

17 years 11 months ago

the imagery in this piece is

the imagery in this piece is exquisite in my opinion...but maybe I can see the picture so clearly because I know days like this all too well...but this piece certainly touches me deeply...

17 years 11 months ago

Catalina

Thank you so very much for taking the time to read and comment. I sincerely hope you don't have too many days like that. *S* My appreciation. Rett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some call me lazy, I prefer Energy Conservationist~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's P.C. speak by the way.

P

prayersbyPatty

17 years 11 months ago

Hi rett

Every line in the poem grabbed me, for me, this is life. Good and bad. you describe it so well. And I liked that you reference going on, thats commitment... I know you will be fine. Good writing.

17 years 11 months ago

Patty

Thank you Patty. I am sure things will be okay. Every road has a few potholes, it is navigating through them without having a flat that is the trick. Things will be okay, she is about three quarters back now, Thank you for reading and commenting. Rett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some call me lazy, I prefer Energy Conservationist~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's P.C. speak by the way.

P

poewriter58

17 years 11 months ago

Rett

My thoughts are with you and your wife well spoken she is lucky to have you there for her. I'm too close to the content of this poem to comment on it. I wish you both well Chrystalie

17 years 11 months ago

Chrystalie

Thanks a lot and don't worry none about a comment. Rett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some call me lazy, I prefer Energy Conservationist~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That's P.C. speak by the way.

17 years 11 months ago

Rett

I'm so glad that your wife has such a loving and faithful husband right by her side. It always makes it a little better when you have someone close by to support you. Jon and I always try to help each other as much as we can through our emotional ups and downs. Good on you, my friend! ~Jess K. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ~ "Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer!" ~ "Your inferiority complex is better than mine!"

17 years 11 months ago

Jess K.

Thank you. That is how it should be. I didn't marry her for better, it was for better or worse etc. Thanks God she did the same for me. Rett: It may look easy, when you look at me, But it took years of effort, to become the mess that you see John Fogerty