Pain....End? NEVER!

As I close my eyes, dreaming of blue skies
I escape witnessing love that only dies.
Quietly I plaster a smile on my face
It's so fake, I feel utterly disgraced.

I try to laugh and shrug it all off everyday,
Somehow, pain always seems to want to stay.
Silently I cry myself to sleep late at night,
Hoping one day to see the forgiving light.

How wonderous suicide is starting to sound,
Struggling through life makes you eternally bound.
If only I knew how to wish upon a star....
But positivety is becoming too damn hard!!

If only I truly tried to please myself....?
Maybe that's my only way of help,
Slowly I begin to face things one by one.
Is it possible my stories almost done?

I feel myself losing the fight to stay alive,
I continue to breathe, but I'm constantly high.
I look at all the scars on my arms,
Begging myself to not cause any more harm....

I drift off to sleep, but awake with a shudder,
I begin to hear myself painfully mutter,
The flashbacks are here again, vivid as ever.
I beg for this to be the end, pain....end? NEVER!