Yes! Please add me. I look forward to this!
L

Please Add me to the list, too!

thanks, Cat

I would like to join

When you see me start it via a blog/shop post you will know it's time to put on your thinking hats lol

I'd like to join

I really appreciate it.
The conflicts, been in Palestine, are a bit away from where we are in Jordan. However, emotionally everyone is affected. We can't stop thinking about everything going there.

I'll start out by saying due to an injury Lavender has had to drop out. It is a non life threatening injury so we can all wish her a quick recovery.
So. imagery. Have you ever read a poem and felt you were within the poem? Usually the reason for this is the poet's use of imagery.Now there are numerous types of imagery. There is visual, tactile, auditory, taste.I expect the one used the most is visual. This one is where a poet describes what he/she sees around them (either in the present or the past. )And then describes this in detail.An example: "As I pass through autumn woods of multicolored leaves."This sets the stage by using autumn to pass along all things related to autumn, cool air(tactile)and visual (leaves not yet fallen but of different colors).Now let's discuss how and what these simple words impart the sense of being there. Post your ideas here along with any questions. I'll check back in in a bit.

Thank you for this interesting introduction.
I think we oft use descriptive words unconsciously.(at least I). I realize that I need to give more attention to the tactile, taste and auditory ones.
Is there any lists to be found for such words, (I mean like the one for the 100 most beautiful words English?)

They jog my visual memory of such woods in Autumn, but because I now live in the Nederlands, a very wet climate, I see dampness as well. And because I grew up in New Orleans I also experienced a warm, dry crispness.

I don't think I would have this same problem in a full poem, because the context would make it clear, as to how I see Autumn

Seems most here are tongue tied so we'll go on to an exercise. Sometimes it is easier to show what something isn't instead of what it is. So put on your thinking caps a write a poem Without imagery. When done post it on stream but be sure to hit the workshop tab when posting it.PS try to keep it under 20 lines

add me. ~ Geezer. Ooops... Already in. I sent my first exercise to the stream.

I am afraid I have to disagree with you here. I don't thinkless imagery will do any poem any better, on the contrary, the more images the more you show and the less you need to tell.

That makes a better sense.
Thank you for the clarification.

In my opinion there is such thing as too much imagery although it is rare. As an example go back to the poem by Frost which I posted above. And see if
I had for my clear cold winter evening walk
not a single soul with whom to talk
but I had the neat clean cottages in a row
up to their cheery eyes with pure whit snow...............do you think this is an improvement?

Often it is choosing the best word to impart imagery while keeping it simple which works best.

BTW we have lost another shop member due to health. .Let's hope Cat gets better soon

a second version of each other's now?
No one is listed below my name

how about if you do my poem, because I am the next one after Scribbler? ~ Geez

I have contacted those who were AWOL. 1 is gone due to personal complications but other were gone due to not knowing how to get to the workshop. They have been told how to do this. Let's give then until midnight to get up to speed then we will begin with assignments. Reminds me how patient folks were with my lack of comp skills when I first came here

Rula , please rewrite my poemA NEW DAY. be sure to hit workshop tab and then to copy and paste your revision on stream and here on the shop page

please read it and leave comments.

Give me time.
This is never an easy job and I don't like to rush it.

please post your image poor poem now. Post one copy on stream and be sure ti hit imagery bitton. Also post it here in the workshop to make it easier to find

time for you to post your imagery poor poem. Post it both here and on stream after hitting the workshop tab.

please rewrite mark's imagery bare poem . post it on stream and be sure to hit the imagery shop button . Than copy and paste it here so we can all find it easily

Queen Tanka
Submitted by Mark on Sat, 2024-05-11 00:09
what a time it was
front door deliveries please
and then I saw you
firstly, a crown for a queen
lastly, our very own world

Rewrite

what was, is it time?
deliveries, front door please
I saw you then
a crown for a queen firstly
our very own world lastly

By submitting a Tanka, you have made this piece virtually unable to be used for this project.
The only way to add any descriptive words, would be to rewrite it as something other than a Tanka.
~ Geezer.
.

The original and the rewrite go over my head. I'm trying hard to figure out what's going on, but failed.
I think punctuation is badly needed for a clearer reading.
As a reader, I only read a piece a couple of times and if I don't figure what's it all about I lose any interest to read for a third time.
Sorry, guess it's only my problem.

Perhaps it is because it's a Tanks but I wonder why this was written for this shop

please post your imagery poor poem now. Post it on stream and be sure to hit the workshop button then post it here. Thanks

I posted it some time ago. If it is not good for this execise I can post another.

the coming of spring

Mark presented us with a difficult poem . It's very form (A tanka) makes it almost impossible to add any syllables including imagery without ruining the form. So being the leader of this shop I'll take on the challenge so here's the Poem with wrecked form but additional imagery. I Do think the message is preserved though :
the form and see what I can do: Apology to gee
What a seemingly distant time it was
When only formal deliveries came to front doors
Then I beheld the beauty of you
A queen, it seemed, without her crown
who joined me in creating our own world.
original poem:
Queen Tanka
Submitted by Mark on Sat, 2024-05-11 00:09
what a time it was
front door deliveries please
and then I saw you
firstly, a crown for a queen
lastly, our very own world

Geeze. I would like you to do Tyro's poem so you can forget about Mark's challenge lol

There have been so many people drop out that I'm considering changing the last part of the shop. Instead of assigning a single poem to a specific member I am considering letting everybody rework all poems. This being a participant driven shop I would like to hear yawls thoughts on this........stan

Re working one and our own is pretty enough I believe.
I'm honest if I say that I have no idea what imagery I'd need to add to mine. Lol
What do you think boss?

about the different types of imagery. I expect the most used is visual. So tell me some other types.....

all the senses are open to imagery, sight, taste, feel, sound, maybe even smell. sight is quite easy but I little experience the others. I feel a lot of my poetry is internal, so what would be internal imagry, if it exist?

That's why it's the most used ever among the poets?

Since biologically, the eye use more energy than all the other senses combined, it must be sight.

with sight, but what must it be like to be blind and have a poem read to you? I would hazard a guess, that the tactile senses
would be most prominent after sight. A poem with a lot of sight references, could be bewildering to someone who has never seen. How would you describe color to a sightless person? You would have to describe colors as maybe different being temperatures or in extreme cases, perhaps as textures, an interesting proposition. ~ Geez.
.

Sight is likely the most used but what about the sense of small. Say fresh baked bread and you can almost smell it or the scent of a spring forest. Perhaps sight is used more because it is an easier thing to transfer from writer to reader?

is an argument that could go on for hours, [and make poems about it].
So, are we using poems of those in the group to reconstruct, and going through them one at a time?
I'm not quite clear on that score. ~ Geezer.
.

here are the assignment for rewrite of others' imagery poor poems. Rula, this is optional for you since you already rewrote my poem "A New Day"but you can do it again if you wish. I will rewrite Geezer's "Ginger sleeps". Gee you may rewrite Joker fade's "Shapes". Tyro please rewrite Rula's "S Way Out". Joker face you may rewrite Tyro's "The Coming of Spring" ;
for this exercise please post the rewrites here on the workshop page.

My rewrite of Geezer's "ginger Sleeps" and And joker face's rewrite of Tyro's "The coming of spring". That darn ol' scribbler needs to get with it lol

Original:
Bright white light, floods yet again
Locked in waist length braids
She proudly walks
Stepping safe and sure
Her calm allure, so pure

Sleep into silent dream
Unknown worlds and schemes
Clouded, foggy visions
Green gardens of faith
Beyond the guarded gate

Clear stream of unconsciousness
Pulls her heart from scorching fire
He tosses it aside
Stay here forever...
His fantasy stops

Looking weak and fragile
We fear the worst
It falls beyond the pale
No warmth, and so
She never wakes

Thinks he...
She might be dying
Rewrite with more imagery:
GINGER SLEEPS
Light reflects from
red waist deep locks
as she sways and walks,
her steps sure and pure

Her nocturnal dreams
carry her to strange unknown worlds
with crystalline visions
of colorful gardens
with but one single sagging gate

Upon her opening it
she loses consciousness
and she tosses restlessly...then suddenly stays
with a jarring stop
accompanied by a deep
fear of death
as she falls

through a pocket of comforting warmth
which wakens her and belays the false fear
of mortality.

that in the rewrite, you shouldn't be afraid to change some of the lines a little bit. Nicely done sir.

It's almost dawn, I open the door
and let the air rushes in
Fresh and cool, I don't need more
the sun soon rises ; an extra win.

A few steps onto the old wooden deck
and squirrels start to bark at me
I shrug my shoulders and my neck
in the shadow of the giant oak tree.

A deer appears from somewhere afar
then stops and strangely stares at me
I thought that is quite bizarre;
it turns and walks carelessly.

a few wild doves come rocket by,
dodging limbs without effort
then disappear in the clear wide sky
announcing the day a perfect fort

when I took the liberty to do whatever changes I need , I found it easier to work it out.
I am happy you like it.

Everybody review their own rewritten poem then use the rewritten poems to improve your poems. Post your poems on stream.

a new one depending on what we've learnt here as stated in the syllabus, boss.
I think the rewritten pieces (at least mine) has enough imagery to it.

I would appreciate feedback and suggestions on this workshop

I would appreciate feedback and suggestions on this workshop

That was an extra.

that in as much as we have had at least half of the group quit before we even started, it was a pretty decent workshop.
I'm not sure what to suggest, that might make it better. ~ Geez.
.