Your Visionary

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem carries genuine emotional urgency and tackles a recognizable experience — the slow realization that a relationship was never what it seemed — with a voice that feels lived-in and direct. The refrain-like return to "before you there was me" is the strongest moment structurally, because it anchors the speaker's arc in self-reclamation rather than just grievance, and that instinct is worth developing further.

The main craft challenge is that the poem's lines are working against themselves rhythmically. Many lines run long and then break mid-phrase in ways that feel arbitrary rather than purposeful — "The girl of your dreams and stand bound just to carry all the pounds of weight just / To not receive no love" loses the reader in the syntax before the emotional point lands. The rhyme scheme also pulls the poem toward forced word choices: "dinner plate," "inside to gate," and the wine/dine/nine cluster in stanza seven feel selected for sound rather than meaning, which dilutes the very real feeling underneath. A useful revision approach would be to take one stanza at a time, strip it back to a single clear image or statement, and then rebuild the lines so the line breaks fall where the thought naturally breathes — letting the rhythm come from the emotion rather than chasing an end rhyme.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to our contact form.

Nice emotional poem

say that I feel much different than the A.I. about this. 
It has all the emotional stuff in there; it just isn't connecting.
Do as the A.I. says, strip the stanzas one at a time, down to the bare idea, then start rebuilding where the line breaks let the meter breathe. The rhyme should be easy but make sense not just sound. The theme is good, put it together so that the reader gets the full benefit. Welcome to Neo. ~ Geezer.