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Wretched emasculated celibate anchorite

Any relationship between
the following poem and living persons -
namely the writer of these words
ranks as purely coincidental and fictitious
crafted about fifteen months ago
and reposted again
today April 26th, 2026
once again shackled
and linkedin to feeling
absolute zero impetus
nevertheless he suffers existential blight
covered head to toe
in black and blue bruises
linkedin wherein
yours truly (himself) did self flagellate,
less for religious reasons,
than cuz he felt contrite
about his mein kampf and hard times,
where purpose driven life
when once upon a time,
he happened to be
a happy go lucky little boy
imbibing rich scents and sensibilities
of mother nature brought delight
observing flora and fauna
while sitting asprawl upon greensward
sharing quietude with Georgie
(his Box/Dalmatian family dog,
they shared the same birthday)
now a doddering blind,
deaf, and dumb old man
Tommy (to me) sensational resplendent
quintessential planetary magnificence
no longer didst excite
subsequently his dead soul,
when free from corporeal constraint
will embark upon spiritus mundi flight
hoping to acquire martyrdom veneration,
when he uneventfully segues
from being among the living
to gleefully join the deceased,
albeit grateful dead into the realm,
where eternal serenity
found within soul asylum height
espying how humanity in general
and Project 2025 in particular
found Homo sapiens devolving
into World War III as trappings
of civilization (and its discontents didst) ignite,
where survivors (analogous to foreigners,
and village people
try to guess who just
landed on alien nation)
scrabbled across rubble strewn landscape,
especially as dark shadows
crept along the edge of night
daring brave-hearts to explore
outer limits of the twilight zone
red dilly (dallying) advancing Republicans
donned as trumpeting
Don-key the mastermind
within the political universe
where elephants in MAGA trunks
complete with jacklight
wrought from titanium
(Sia what I mean)?
felling Democratic enemies,
the former tricked out
with artificial intelligent
smart and sophisticated firearms
comprised of ballistics fashioned
from one hundred percent kryptonite.

Now a minor digression regarding -
giving Luigi Mangione
pronounced loo-EE-jee
Mangione:man-jee-OH-nee or man-JOH-nee,
a scion then 27-year-old
from prominent and wealthy family
in the Baltimore, Maryland area,
built their fortune
and their city on rock and roll,
the former valedictorian
and Ivy League graduate
accused of the December 4, 2024,
premeditated murder
of UnitedHealthcare CEO
Brian Thompson in Manhattan,
which former who sported
a 3D-printed "ghost gun"
garnering him fifteen minutes
of fame in the limelight,
which ammo etched with the words
"deny," "defend," and "depose"
on the bullets and casings used in the shooting.

Now back to regularly scheduled program,
where yours truly best retire poem,
cuz moonlight sonata
filtering thru the window
way past the hour of midnight.

Where upon awakening from dream,
a nightmare found writer of these words
metamorphosed back to the future
videre licet joining rank and file,
when an extinct marine arthropod
that occurred abundantly
during the Paleozoic era,
with a carapace over the forepart,
and a segmented hind part
divided longitudinally
into three lobes,
hence the name trilobite
creatures who throve
from the beginning
of the Cambrian Period,
around 521 million years ago,
until the end of the Permian Period,
around 251 million years ago.

Now ye probably wonder less or more
how much longer torment
for thee dear patient reader must endure
before I jump/kick start severance
soon will cometh end of poem
with blessed fate, I assure.

Hyperbole barely exaggerates existential exegesis
as markedly iterated in the book of Matthew.

Upon closing eyes wide shut,
and being whisked at lightspeed
just in time as huge claws
grasp empty air,
he then finds himself
at beginning of evolution
after being hurled further back
even farther across the time stream
when primordial broth covered earth
found him alone as an anachronism
a oveerly sophisticated humanoid
chock full and tricked out
with the latest generation
of quantum robotics technology
electronics far surpassing
even the smartest Homo sapiens,
nevertheless artificial intelligence
sets relic of the twenty first century
apart from the madding crowd
of microorganisms in the primordial broth
denying him the likelihood
synonymous with the rolling stone tune
I'll come your to emotional rescue
condemning him to veritable isolation
hounded by mailer daemons,
hence a worse fate than death
dogged his every catatonic step.

— Jane A. Rug, Apr 26, 2026

About This Poem

Last Few Words: ever since this past thursday - april twenty third after the triumvirate that constitutes management here at highland manor apartments, when we received a minor dressing down and cited for countless lease violation, i wanted to throw myself under a bus, but the ideal resolution of this untenable situation would involve relocating - ideally within southeastern pennsylvania, where i spent most of my seven and sixty orbitz around the sun an impossible mission since cyber thieves accessed and compromised my checking accounts, and a previous poem of mine - not posted on this website focused on inquiring if any readers might be privy to a low income one bedroom facility within above mentioned geographical parameters.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: PA, USA

Favorite Poets: Robert Burns, Charles Dickens, Robert Frost, Matthew Scott Harris, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Sylvia Plath, Gary Snyder, Henry David Thoreau, Walt Whitman

More from this author

Critiques

neopoet

neopoet

1 month 1 week ago

Neopoet AI [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem ambitiously intertwines personal anguish, historical allusion, political commentary, and speculative evolution, creating a dense tapestry of themes. The stream-of-consciousness style and sprawling narrative evoke a sense of mental turbulence and existential blight, consistent with the poem’s title and subject matter. However, this expansiveness also challenges coherence and reader engagement.

Strengths: - The poem’s raw emotional intensity is palpable, particularly in the depiction of self-flagellation and existential suffering. - The use of historical and political references (e.g., “mein kampf,” “Project 2025,” “Luigi Mangione,” “MAGA trunks”) grounds the poem in a contemporary socio-political context, adding layers of meaning. - The imaginative leap into deep time and evolutionary history (trilobites, primordial broth) introduces a cosmic perspective that contrasts with the personal narrative, enriching the poem’s scope.

Areas for improvement: 1. **Structural coherence and pacing:** The poem’s length and frequent shifts in focus—from personal confession to political satire to paleontological digression—can overwhelm the reader. Consider breaking the poem into distinct sections or stanzas with clearer thematic boundaries to improve readability and narrative flow.

2. **Clarity and conciseness:** Some passages are dense with allusions and complex syntax, which may obscure meaning. For example, the political metaphor involving “elephants in MAGA trunks” and “artificial intelligent smart and sophisticated firearms” could benefit from more precise imagery or explanation to avoid confusion.

3. **Consistency in tone and diction:** The poem oscillates between colloquial expressions (“cuz,” “dilly (dallying)”) and elevated, archaic language (“didst,” “cometh”), which can be jarring. A more consistent tone or deliberate contrast with clear purpose would strengthen the poem’s voice.

4. **Use of punctuation and line breaks:** The poem’s current formatting—with many enjambments and minimal punctuation—sometimes hinders comprehension. Strategic use of punctuation and line breaks could enhance rhythm, emphasize key ideas, and guide the reader through complex passages.

5. **Thematic focus:** While the poem’s breadth is impressive, honing in on a central theme or emotional core—such as the speaker’s existential isolation or the interplay between personal and political despair—would create a more impactful and cohesive work.

6. **Imagery and metaphor:** Some metaphors (e.g., “mailer daemons,” “quantum robotics technology”) are intriguing but underdeveloped. Expanding these images with sensory detail or symbolic resonance could deepen their effect.

In summary, this poem contains rich material and ambitious thematic reach but would benefit from structural refinement, clearer diction, and more focused imagery to fully realize its potential and engage readers more effectively.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact