Window Pane

I am not a window pane
To be sat upon in the rain
I am not a viewer with a hallucinatory brain
To the box that sucks out souls
And sells them in the street
I can walk on my own
With my two cut off feet

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Michigan/USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe

Comments

Ian.T

13 years ago

Shamoneness

Quite a statement there, though the act of sitting on a window Pane would probably cause lots of Pain.
To alleviate the Pain would "Set Upon" be better for the rain, I would say it is a typo and start again, Yours Ian.T

Shamoneness

13 years ago

Thanks

for the comment. I guess "set upon" would make more sense; I wasn't really thinking when I wrote this x3 I just let it flow out.

Amber

Seren

13 years ago

Hi

is the box the TV ? I rather liked this one not sure if you should change sat for set it could be read two different ways, and I think you meant sat on but I could be wrong lol

nice to read you I dont think I have had the pleasure before :)

sincerely Jayne-Chloe

Shamoneness

13 years ago

Thank

you for reading! :) Yes, the box is the tv.

Amber

Lenny of Cohen

13 years ago

Cracking write!

Loved this piece! As for the TV set, a weapon of mass distraction, we have been without this monster which people base their lives around and even worship! For some folk its their religion.

Namaste,

Lenny

Shamoneness

13 years ago