When You Are Gone

The moon peeps out from behind a cloud,
Its light bleakly shining on the tomb
Where my love lies buried and decaying,
Alone and forgotten in Earth's dank womb.

The bleak, sad dawn is far away
And the night is grim and cold;
Wind, harsh wind, a breath of ice
Rustles the leaves and chills my soul.

I wander through the rows of graves,
Dreaming on the fate of my dead love,
But the horrid stench of rotting flesh
Tells me I am really better off above.

So recall that once you're dead, you're gone
Into the void of endless night so black;
And think on this with a happy laugh:
No way, no how, are you ever coming back.
.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: London, Culture Capital of the World

Favorite Poets: Siegfried Sassoon, Wilfred Owen, Rupert Brooke, Chaucer, Shakespeare to name but a few. And VERY IMPORTANTLY: Erich Fried, a leftwing Austrian of Jewish ancestry who fled the Nazis and became a British citizen in 1949., And, other writers (non-poets mainly): Raymond Chandler, Irvine Welsh, Anthony Burgess, Graham Greene, Charles Bukowski, John le Carré, Anthony Horowitz, Mick Herron, Margaret Attwood, Edna O'Brian, Maeve Binchy., Writers who I find vastly over-rated: TS Eliot, Virgina Woolf, Sylvia Plath, Phil Larkin, E.A. Poe, A. Ginsburg, Longfellow, Gerald Manley Hopkins (actually I LOATHE Hopkins more than damson-dappled words can say).

Comments

Lavender

5 years 4 months ago

When You are Gone

Hi, Edna,
Maybe alone, but then, not really forgotten, right? Your poetry always makes me think, and think again.
Thank you,
L

Edna Sweetlove

5 years 4 months ago

NAH!

"Peeps" is funnier to an English ear! Peeks is fuunier in a sense.
.

Edna Sweetlove

5 years 4 months ago

Many thanks..

...for your kind words.

Geezer

5 years 4 months ago

My, my...

You seem to have gotten a handle on this scary stuff. I think that perhaps, this [My love] person wasn't all that special to you; as you laugh and say that "No way, no how, are you ever coming back". "Nicely done", as Killer would say. ~ Geezer.
.

Edna Sweetlove

5 years 4 months ago

Does anyone...

...ever come back? Well, apart from Nandor the Relentless...
.

Geezer

5 years 4 months ago

It was...

the laugh that I referred to. it sounded gleeful!
~ Geezer.
.

tyro

5 years 4 months ago

Your use of rhythm is superb.

Your use of rhythm is superb. Even though the metric is not consistent, at no time did stumble, stop, or be surprised, but found it smooth throughout.