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When I Go......(the latest version read first)

When in the other world I, at last, bide
you will not ever, ever, really know
nor will you say that you at all denied
that it was now my turn and time to go.

As I fling kisses so many misses
you would not come here ever for to see
how many came to savor my kisses
coz at no time, you've been with me.

I still live, in my world, of hope
An intent with much, abundance
That you might dare with me to cope
Hopefully without reluctance.

Be as it may, my lovely dear
Kissy me without any fear.

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OLDER VERSION BELOW

When in the other world I, at last, bide
you will not ever, ever, really know
nor will you say that you at all denied
that it was now my turn and time to go.

As I fling kisses so many misses
you would not come here ever for to see
how many came to savor my kisses
because you have, at no time, been with me.

Yet I still live, in my own world, of hope
A delightful intent and much, in abundance
That you might still dare with me to cope
And you will try to make up, without reluctance.

Be as it may, my only, onetime lovely dear
Develop a permanent relationship, without fear.

— lovedly, Mar 03, 2021

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Another life's fourth sonnet Just a try folks

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UNIVERSE...ETERNITY C/O ME, ROU

Favorite Poets: All across the Internet whom I read , and they inspire..

More from this author

Critiques

Geezer

Geezer

5 years 3 months ago

I think...

that it is better with: Or without reluctance. Nice work~ Geez.
.

Lavender

Lavender

5 years 3 months ago

When I Go

Hi, Lovedly,
Enjoyed the entire poem, but what an outstanding, wonderful last stanza!
Thank you!
L

S

scribbler

5 years 3 months ago

See

Your head didn't explode writing a rhyme lol.

lovedly

lovedly

5 years 3 months ago

be not confused

the top one I revised it
as directed by you
now I am BULB LIKE fused
top is new below
xxxxxx is old
the next one is in my pipeline
still at home lol Alan

will post after u pat my back
ahhhhhhhhhhha gotcchaaachaaa