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Dec 15, 2021
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what's That about
What's That About
If you ever asked me
Why I do what i do,
I'd have to stop take a second
an sum up what I've been through.
It's been a lonely dark walk
at times my soul was lost
By the grace of my friends an god
I'm seeing where I belong.
Like chalk is to cheese
I'm marmite to most
If your loved in my inner circle
I'll protect you like ghost
I was born a man and maybe gay,
But it's never changed me or
the principles I hold true.
If there's ever one thing that'll be said about me
it's he was a stand up guy
an always wanted the best.
For him-self, his family friends and the rest
if you don't notice the good it taints the less
But we can all grow stronger
an achieve what we can
Hope I die as I lived,
Everybody's man.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Please be honest, I write when i'm at my lowest so I hope it translates.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Geezer
3 years 10 months ago
Your title...
drew me in, which is what a title is supposed to do. Your language use is good, and I got your message. There are a few little things that could be edited, like:
1] [and God]
2] If you're loved
3] a ghost
4] himself
Welcome to Neo. I hope you find us and the site to your liking and that you find all the things that you look for and gain experience and skill. ~ Geezer.
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