Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Well-Traveled Heart

Give me a heart that feels the melancholy
of castoff things in a downpour.

One that’s weathered storms without rain,
and grieves for the brief lives of shooting stars.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: San Francisco Bay Area - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Bukowski, Billy Collins, Ted Kooser, Haiku & Harvey Kurtzman (a visual poet, of sorts)

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

Geezer

4 weeks 1 day ago

Shooting stars...

I'm thinking that you have jumped from castoff things in a downpour [typically describing rain] to weathering a storm without rain. You might say:  
One that's weathered dust storms,
and grieves for the brief lives of shooting stars. I get the grief for the brief life of a shooting star. The splendor of a shooting star seems like it should last forever. 
Yes, a well-traveled heart. Good stuff! ~ Geez.
.

Michael Anthony

Michael Anthony

4 weeks 1 day ago

Thanks Geez! This is really…

Thanks Geez! This is really about empathy, and the many places it may be found or developed. You may be interpreting storms too literally. We all face stormy periods in our lives (not weather), which is what I was trying to convey. I appreciate your comments, always, sir - cheers!