Vendetta

I dont care if i ever see your face the way u made me feel can never be erased the girl u knew u killed inside and now the one thats here resides she wants revenge for all the pain the needless hurt that u forced her to claim she is different it is tru but cant forget about u because of this simple fact things u did u cant take back the memory she has just wont die and everytime she thinks about it it makes her cry u are the sickist most vile man and i hope the worst things happen to u that can

About This Poem

Last Few Words: just off the top of my head about a past relationship

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Comments

Esker

12 years 9 months ago

changes....For flow ..(my suggest)

"u forced, and claimed.."
" she's different. (true)..she can't forget about u!"
"the memory she has won't die..everytime she thinks
about it..makes her wanna cry U are the sickest Vile
man I hope for you to die
And I hope the worst can happen to u can"

I ended up listening to much rap with the kid
who made me sing along to the faster vocalists

that made me realize how things are put together
so you can sing it fast

I like how your poem works and its pretty damn good

I like this a lot!

Thank You!

scamper

9 years 11 months ago

Thanks

Thankyou

scribbler

12 years 9 months ago

Hi scamp

Welcome to Neopoet. The emotion comes through clearly although this is structured more like prose than poetry. Your use of "u" instead of you is an example of the effect texting may have on poetry. I guess time will tell whether textspeak will become accepted in poetry................stan

Frenchf

12 years 9 months ago

Hope he gets it in the .......

Atta girl