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May 31, 2022
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Upon The Starship Pheonix
I look upon the night skies
And a little star twinkle
Like a pixie in the sky
My lil sis Jeanette got her wings
Among the stars darting forth
From left to right she dances for me
Upon the starship Phoenix.
— Barbara Writes, May 31, 2022
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About This Poem
Last Few Words: Remembering my lil sis
Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Critiques
scribbler
4 years ago
Hi Carolina girl
I get the feeling this is based on reality so you have my sympathy. I hope to see you around more
Barbara Writes
3 years 12 months ago
hi Stan
thanks for stopping by. just remembered my sister. She left us in 2020 at the height of covid, 1 months few days after my mother left.
One
4 years ago
Barbara
As Stan said it feels like reality in which case a critique is not applicable.
The shortness actually adds to the emotion. Just the right amount of depth & feeling to create the scene & atmosphere.
Well delivered,
One.
Barbara Writes
3 years 12 months ago
thanks One
It's nice to meet you. as I said to stan already I"m remembered her in writing it.
Candlewitch
4 years ago
dearest Barbara,
I agree with Stan and one, Geezer, too. I am so sorry for your loss.
but it is so very good to see you! I am chasing my own tail in happiness from your return!!!
*love, Cat
Barbara Writes
3 years 11 months ago
Thanks Cat
I appreciate you stopping by and sharing your kind sentiments
Geezer
4 years ago
Like Stan...
and one have said; It is good to see you again, even though the subject is one of sorrow. So sorry for your loss. ~ Geez.
.
Barbara Writes
3 years 11 months ago
Thanks Geezer
I appreciate your sentiment. I will look for the Challenges Titles and do so