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Mar 13, 2015
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Truths, Myths & Rumors
Is there truth in all that is said
may be, may be not, may be some
yet we fret, or even tirade
over if it's a peach or plum
when we speak of age old myth
Is there truth in all that is said
hard to believe or contend with
to deny it most are afraid
it's so funny how rumors spread
thanks to the world of inter net
Is there truth in all that is said
it's win or lose placing a bet
all said and done it's time to think
is it all worth to knock our head
or let it rest and quip a Shrink
"is there truth in all that is said"?
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
wesley snow
11 years 1 month ago
Raw truth.
This poem is a mess. The subject is strong and relevant, but you have so many mixed up meters that the poem reads from one stumble to the next.
Despite the fact that the piece is verso libre (free verse) there still needs to be some order in the midst of chaos. "Free" verse does not mean free to write ugly.
Don't just attend the Meter workshop, use it to influence your poetry.
raj
11 years 1 month ago
Hi Wesley
Thanks for letting me know that my poem is a mess and ugly. Everyone is entitled for an opinion.
Regards,
Geezer
11 years 1 month ago
There are truths...
and there are truths. I too, liked the content, it's just the manner in which it was displayed is beneath your talent. ~ Gee
raj
11 years 1 month ago
Hi Gee
Thanks
Regards,
wesley snow
11 years 1 month ago
Raj,
I didn't mean to insult you. If I did I apologize. I meant as Geez meant... some things just don't meet a standard already set. You write must better than this and you do ask for the "raw truth". That's how I saw it, but I'll leave your poetry alone for now.
I really am sorry if I hurt your feelings.
raj
11 years 1 month ago
Wesley
Thanks for visiting this page again. No I am not hurt so no need for apologies. I appreciate all opinions.
Regards,
judyanne
11 years 1 month ago
this is what Wes means Raj
Is there truth | in all | that is said ...................trimeter anapaest iambic anapaest
may be, | may be | not, may | be some ...........tetrameter trochee trochee spondee iambic
et we | fret, or | e -ven | tir -ade .....................trochic tetrameter
o -ver | if it's | a --peach | or plum ...................tetrameter - trochee pyrrhic iambic iambic
when we speak | of age | old myth .................trimeter anapaest iambic spondee.
hard to be | -lieve or con | -tend with ..............trochee trimeter
to de -ny | it most | are a -fraid ........................trimeter anapaest iambic anapaest
it's so funny | how rum | -ors spread ................trimeter anapaest iambic iambic
thanks to | the world | of int | -er net ...............tetrameter trochee iambic iambic iambic
it's win | or lose | plac -ing | a bet .....................tetrameter iambic iambic trochee iambic
all said | and done | it's time | to think .............tetameter spondee iambic iambic iambic
is it | all worth | to knock | our head ................. tetrameter pyrrhic iambic iambic iambic
or let | it rest | and quip | a Shrink ...................iambic tetrameter
can you see how the feet are all overmixed? that is why people are finding the rhyhm rough
as for the subject and the refrain - I love it
love judy
xxx
raj
11 years 1 month ago
Judyanne
Thanks for the observations and detailed explanation
Regards,
judyanne
11 years 1 month ago
i forgot to mention
The different lengths of the verses, in no particular pattern, also affects the rhythm
xxx
raj
11 years 1 month ago
Judyanne
Thanks once again for your observations.
Regards,