TROLL THE MOLE

Dear marje, you chameleon mole
crawl back to your sewer, you hole
eat sticks and ill will
with the trust that you kill
in a swill made of innocent's souls

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Not sure if I should use "dear" in the address. Kind of on the fence with changing it to "Hey". .... "Dear" is supposed to carry a hint of sarcasm, but not sure if it comes across as so. Any input is appreciated!

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Lake Simcoe Canada

Favorite Poets: Poe, Frost, E.B. Browning, Theodor Seuss Geisel,

Comments

L o v e w o r n

5 months 1 week ago

Is marge dear to you?

If not hey will work better.

Shouldn't marge be capped Marge?

Mark

Candlewitch

5 months 1 week ago

Dear Thomas,

I agree with Mark. And should (you) be (your) ?

fondly, Cat

Candlewitch

5 months 1 week ago

In another read...

I take back my suggestion. LOL...do not know where my head was at. not quite awake yet, I guess.

fondly, Cat

|Triskelion

5 months 1 week ago

Yeahhh...

...sometimes I try to be polite and find replacement words for other, more popular misogynistic terms, but in this case, it was bias toward the rhyme. Sorry you missed the intent first time 'round. Limericks can be so tricky!

Lavender

5 months 1 week ago

Troll

Dear Thomas,

After the election, I could only manage to write rants about our current administration and political status. The joy was zapped out of my writing, so I concentrated on inner peace and the rippling effect it may have. I haven't commented much on your talented, creative limerick poems. They are brilliant.

Please don't change anything, here. "Dear" adds all the befitting sarcasm needed in the message, along with the lowercase "m." After walking with 7 million people, making phone calls, writing letters, and reaching out to the issues that are near and dear to me, my level of trust in my government hasn't raised much, especially after the 7 Dems, and 1 Indepedent voted yes on Sunday.

I hear your voice in your limerick poems. A little needed respite of humor for us all.

Thanks, so much.