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Sep 01, 2025
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Time's Up
Passing
Pulse now slowing
Heart beats diminishing
Family clears tears from their eyes
Times Up
— Clentin, Sep 01, 2025
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About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Eastern
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Rough draft
Critiques
whitetea
10 months 3 weeks ago
Haunting. I love to read…
Haunting. I love to read first hand accounts of hospice workers to get an idea of the end of life and what it looks like from the outside. Well captured.
Clentin Martin
10 months 3 weeks ago
Thabk you for reading and…
Thank you for reading and comments!
I appreciate it very much
Rula
10 months 3 weeks ago
Hello Clentin
I thought this is a perfect example of a perfect cinquaine.
Great job re the theme as well.
Thank you for sharing!
P.s. Did you mean "Time's Up"
Clentin Martin
10 months 3 weeks ago
Thank you for reading and…
Thank you for reading and comments. You are right "Time's Up"
I changed it! Thank you
Lavender
9 months 3 weeks ago
Time's Up
Hello, Clentin,
Pretty certain it's just me - I'm wondering if there may be a different way to state that the family is crying. The imagery and action of "clears tears" and "time's up" together makes me a little uncertain if the grieving process might be over. Again, probably just me...
I'll be back! Thank you!
L
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