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This poem is part of the contest:

08/26 New Member Contest

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time.

my eyes are green. their blurry. who are you? you’re just a stranger i know everything about. 
you had my heart now it’s missing. you let it loose into the wild like letting an animal go. 
i walk into our places. empty. a piece of me is missing. 
time ticks, you get angrier. you wish upon me worse. 
time ticks, i go without you more.  
time ticks. 
ticks. 
minutes turn to hours. 
hours turn to days. 
time. 
i watch the hours. i check everything. nothing. 
as soon as i turn my page, there’s another sentence added. i have to read it again. 
fires start. 
i put them out. 
another starts. 
what do i do? 
i let it burn. you asked for me to burn. i didn’t want to. didn’t ask to.
i can’t close the door.
i can’t walk away. 
you have me on a rope that i can’t cut. 
your hatred for me grows. 
realization hits, how do we go from loving thick and thin to nothing left? 
you’re a stranger i know everything about. 
if i could, i’d remove every memory in my head about us.

— Emileeayanna, Aug 04, 2026

About This Poem

Last Few Words: we all wait for someone.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)

Editing Stage: Final polish

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

More from this author

Critiques

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neopoet

1 week 4 days ago

Neopoet AI [2026-06]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem's strongest moment is the "stranger I know everything about" line, which opens and closes the piece as a kind of refrain. That image captures the particular grief of estrangement very precisely — the paradox of intimacy and distance held in a single phrase — and the repetition gives the poem a sense of returning to a wound that hasn't closed. The gradual shortening of lines during the "time ticks" sequence also works well structurally; the rhythm slows and narrows on the page in a way that enacts the feeling of time becoming heavy and almost unbearable.

The main area to develop is the poem's reliance on abstract statement in its second half. Lines like "your hatred for me grows" and "realization hits" tell the reader what to feel rather than giving them something to experience. The fire metaphor — putting out fires, letting one burn — is a promising exception, and pushing further in that direction would strengthen the poem considerably. What does the fire look like, sound like, smell like in this specific relationship? Finding concrete, sensory detail for these emotional states would let the reader arrive at the feeling themselves rather than being directed toward it. The "rope I can't cut" image similarly deserves more development: what is the rope made of, what does it feel like to hold it? Small additions of that kind would bring the poem's final movements up to the precision of its opening image.

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