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Apr 24, 2020
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THREE MANES AND A DREAM(April Contest)
I felt the ground below being erased
I felt the wind upon my face
I felt the strength of an embrace
I saw the wide open plains
I saw the flurry of three manes
I saw the sky begin to rain
No shelter was there to be found
so we traversed o'er the rain soaked ground
I heard the hooves melodic sound
or was I hearing our hearts pound?
I touched the softness of your skin
the earth was quaking from within
I tasted the flavor of desire
a dream of all senses
I awoke on fire
— c lynn brooks, Apr 24, 2020
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About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Critiques
c lynn brooks
6 years 1 month ago
This was written for a very
This was written for a very dear friend
c lynn brooks
6 years 1 month ago
Melinda
welcome to Neo Poet
Thank you so much your comments are very kind
c lynn brooks
6 years 1 month ago
Alan
thank you ,yes I do rhyme every now and then
have you figured out the three manes lol
Gracy
6 years 1 month ago
Good poem, Lynn. I like the
Good poem, Lynn. I like the rhyming lines. I think perhaps the three manes are invaders, I've read about them somewhere. Medieval?
Enjoyed.
c lynn brooks
6 years 1 month ago
gracy
lol not even close but good try.thank you for stopping to read I appreciate it
scribbler
6 years 1 month ago
Hi
A very good poem but I reckon most poems in this contes of give me your best will be good lol. You might consider deleting "her" in stanza 3, line 2 and see if you like it
c lynn brooks
6 years 1 month ago
Stan
thre is no her in this poem I'm not understanding what you refer to.ahhh I see it now that is o'er not her as in over and that I think I will leave I tried removing it did not car for it that way thanks for the suggestion
scribbler
6 years 1 month ago
Dang spell check.
O'er is the word which the comp changed to her
c lynn brooks
6 years 1 month ago
melinda
you are so close yes it is a dream as you stated in the first part but the three manes
man long black hair, women lond blonde hair riding double and the third mane is the horse lol
c lynn brooks
6 years 1 month ago
jerry
never to late, thank you for your kind comment