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Tectonic Upheaval
Heavy duty seismic coughing wracks my whole body electric leveling all bonafide structures versus a shallow shudder much like an earthquake measured on a Richter Scale, where the former tectonic force shatters my body electric formerly known as mine solidly built structure tearing down to smithereens the once entire complex edifice known as Matthew Scott Harris, whereas the latter temblor merely rattles and hums said lovely bones.
Yours truly feels
physically miserable aye
my entire will power
put thru the paces
prompting me to say bye
to the webbed wide world,
though many family
and friends would cry
if this one out of billions
suddenly took to bed and did die
but if they could only espy
how covid-19 assails me
by even at a distance
undertake a flyby
they may understand
existential nihilism of this guy
and soon after hereby
reading these words
analogous to casting pearls to swing
little would they appreciate exit
stage door left versus
suffering courtesy the incubi
to remain alive ranks
as a worse fate than death,
hence to succumb
to the trademark grim reaper
with his trademark scythe
would be analogous
and be self evident
to refrain from asking why
living with coronavirus.
Soon after merely mentally processing the grave thought to be free and clear of coronavirus analogous to an incurable diagnosis of microscopic malware bytes, the dirty deed done dirt cheap will be a done deal, and a soul asylum will be granted when a grateful dead state will repurpose yours truly after he undergoes being cremated, whereby his cremains will be scattered across the four points of the compass forever being reconstituted into the biosphere infiltrating many animal and plant species as organic nutriment.
Essential elements of harried style
unique to yours truly who did cling
to the apron strings
of mommy dearest
a flirtatious woman
who did feign appear
to engage in a extramarital fling
she long since passed away -
May 5th, 2025 marking
the anniversary of her death
analogous to a topnotch ballplayer
clinching the last inning
of their phenomenal sports career
though long since
buried wrapped in lustring
long ago their corpse swiftly tailored
into raw bits of matter
some may even have found their way
into "Powdermilk biscuits, offering
a heavenly taste and also
a perfect snack to ring
in the new year being expeditious
and made from threshed whole wheat
(think scythes that upswing)
that give shy persons
the strength to get up and do
while criss crossing pedestrian xing
what needs to be done"
and boy could
they have come in good stead
during my days as a quiet
and practically withdrawn boy.
Sure as the sun will shine come the morrow, the phrase often attributed as the postman's motto could also double up as the grim reaper motto such that "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swiftly tailored harried styled completion of their appointed rounds". While there is no official USPS motto, this inscription, located at the James A. Farley Post Office in New York City, is a tribute to postal workers and comes from an ancient Greek text by Herodotus.
Now a closing bitta bing bitta bang
of trivia about the scythe
which symbolizes the Grim Reaper's role
able, eager, willing and ready
to pull down the leader of any gang
and as the "reaper" of souls,
using the tool in the same way
a farmer harvests crops
to cut down the "wheat"
of human lives,
which symbol of both
the end of life
and the natural cycle
of birth, growth, and death.
whereat such imagery
comes from combining
the Roman god of time, Cronus
(who was also
a harvest god with a sickle),
with the medieval plague period
when artists began to personify death.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
6 months ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem ambitiously tackles themes of illness, mortality, and existential despair through a dense, stream-of-consciousness style that blends personal narrative with historical and symbolic references. The extended metaphor of the "tectonic upheaval" effectively conveys the physical and emotional disruption caused by COVID-19, and the comparison between seismic forces and bodily suffering is vivid and original.
However, the poem’s structure and diction sometimes hinder clarity and emotional impact. The long, winding sentences and irregular line breaks can make it difficult for readers to follow the progression of ideas or to find moments of pause and reflection. Consider breaking the poem into more distinct stanzas or sections to create breathing space and emphasize shifts in tone or subject matter.
The diction is often elaborate and allusive, which enriches the poem intellectually but risks distancing readers from the raw emotional core. For example, phrases like "existential nihilism of this guy" and "microscopic malware bytes" introduce a conversational tone that contrasts with the otherwise formal or archaic language. This juxtaposition can be effective if balanced carefully, but here it sometimes feels uneven. Streamlining some of the more technical or abstract language might enhance accessibility without sacrificing depth.
The poem’s concluding meditation on the scythe and the Grim Reaper adds valuable context and symbolism, but its placement near the end reads somewhat like an explanatory footnote rather than an integrated part of the poem’s emotional arc. Integrating these reflections more organically throughout the poem could strengthen thematic cohesion.
Overall, the poem’s ambition and thematic scope are commendable, but refining its form and language to balance complexity with clarity would improve its resonance and readability.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact
Lavender
6 months ago
Tectonic Upheavel
Clever title and language throughout.
Thank you!
L