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Jul 27, 2019
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Summer Love (July Contest)
Summer Love
I scattered sand
Took shells from the sea
Made a wedding band
Just for you and me
I wait with patience
For you to find me
Soft music makes sense
Palm trees planted three
With truth we will talk
To plan a future
Tie a knot type walk
A soft love venture
July it was for us
I had made in dreams
There you with no fuss.
A beautiful scene..
Yours Yenti..
About This Poem
Last Few Words: A quick write hence the last verse was not up to standard, Have since sorted a bit, hope it complies with the form
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
scribbler
6 years 2 months ago
No problem.
You have couple of weeks to edit to whatever standard you desire
Sparrow 42
6 years 2 months ago
Mark
Many thanks for your read , mine is there to make up the numbers lol
Loved has read it and missed JULY in the poem
I was trying to write in that Penty what's it form.
Just a struggle, and it sounds forced ..
I will stick with my freedom lol,
Thanks again, Yours Ian
lovedly
6 years 2 months ago
ur supposed to compose on (this) July's pleasures
not of years flown down ur Thames
EDIT it else it for DQ qualifies
Suggest you compose another one
I did in five minutes
before stan gave
the limitless extension
but I shall stick to my version
to competitions now
I have gained aversion
Sparrow 42
6 years 2 months ago
Loved
this piece was completely about July
or did you miss a word spelt J U L Y lol
have a great day,
Yours Ian..