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Aug 18, 2025
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Strange fruit
Rotten, limply hanging from the tree,
Those wages of sin for all to see.
Evil so stark, there's no mystery.
Sorrow bows its eyes to the floor,
Blocks out fear, blocks out gore,
A veil to cover sin's fatal claw.
Cowardly, cheeks turned away,
And mind diverts to pray,
Yet no erasure, this darkest day.
And air's filled with sounds of glee,
In contrast to the fear it sees,
Brought dishonour to the bowing tree.
A history graph dense with pain,
Clicked on repeat, again and again.
Hands of friendship, down the drain.
In remembering strange fruits lost war,
To sinful vultures, Satan''s whores,
Blood stained remnants to its core.
And yet a bitter pill to swallow,
When many voices meekly follow,
Fatefully bereft, soulless and hollow.
Yet when trumpets call upon its bride,
The weak, the humble, and petrified,
Yet it's not by chance, they decide.
But a path, a road , a well chosen stick,
A story followed, a decisive pick.
Through wedges thin, and thick.
To flip the graph, back to the start,
Forcing the labour of sin to depart,
Unveiling eternal beauty, purity of heart.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
1 month 1 week ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem, "Strange Fruit," evokes a powerful and somber atmosphere, using vivid imagery to confront themes of sin, sorrow, and societal complicity. The title itself carries historical weight, referencing a well-known metaphor for racial violence, which primes the reader for a heavy, reflective tone.
Strengths: - The imagery of "Rotten, limply hanging from the tree" immediately sets a stark and unsettling scene, effectively drawing the reader into the poem's emotional landscape. - The poem maintains a consistent tone of despair and condemnation, which supports the serious subject matter. - The use of contrasts, such as "air's filled with sounds of glee" against "fear it sees," underscores the tension between outward appearances and underlying horrors. - The rhyme scheme, while not rigid, adds a rhythmic quality that aids in the poem’s flow and memorability.
Areas for improvement: 1. Clarity and Specificity: While the poem’s imagery is evocative, some lines could benefit from greater specificity to deepen the emotional impact. For example, phrases like "wages of sin" and "sinful door" are somewhat abstract. Providing more concrete or unique descriptions could enhance the poem's resonance.
2. Consistency in Metaphor: The poem centers around the metaphor of "strange fruit," but the narrative shifts somewhat ambiguously—mentioning sorrow, cowardice, and voices following meekly. Clarifying who or what these elements represent would strengthen the poem’s message and avoid potential confusion.
3. Syntax and Grammar: Some lines feel slightly awkward or could be smoothed for better readability. For instance, "And mind's diverted to pray" might be clearer as "And minds divert to pray" or "And the mind diverts to pray." Similarly, "A Dishonour to that bowing tree" could be refined for grammatical consistency and impact.
4. Punctuation and Capitalization: The poem inconsistently capitalizes words mid-line (e.g., "Dishonour"). Standardizing capitalization and considering punctuation would improve the poem’s professionalism and reader engagement.
5. Emotional Arc: The poem is predominantly somber, but introducing moments of nuance or complexity—such as a hint of hope, resistance, or reflection—could provide a more layered emotional experience.
Overall, the poem has a strong thematic foundation and evocative imagery but would benefit from clearer metaphorical development and refined language to fully realize its potential.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact
Lavender
1 month 1 week ago
Strange Fruit
Hello, Tigger,
I'm in agreement with AI's remarks, for the most part. I can certainly sense the theme, and understand the turnaround in the last three stanzas. But I'd like to know more what this means to you - I get a double "forbidden fruit" and "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" feeling, but also a bigger historical lesson within the poem.
Thank you!
L
Geezer
1 month 1 week ago
Amen...
to that feeling. I also cannot fathom the hidden meaning here, [it certainly seems as though there is one]. A little enlightenment please? ~ Geez.
.
Tigger Kaz
1 month 1 week ago
Forbidden fruit
The poem is more in reference to the historic othering of people.
The stain of treating our fellow humans in this way. Humanity's propensity to picking on weak and vulnerable people, whilst creating a system that made them vulnerable in the first place (through othering them).
The poem also speaks of the choices we have, and how we chose our path (of righteousness or everlasting sin).
And yes also a nod to original sin, and how the end will flip us right back to the beginning. Obviously that's my take on what will happen, when Christ returns once more.
It's really hard to be both metaphorical and clear in ones poetic verse.
Either my poetry is clear and consise, but lacks metaphor.
Or it's more metaphorical and people are struggling to understand what the poem means.
Geezer
1 month 1 week ago
LoL...
It brings to mind, the old saying: "You can't please everyone all the time." Keep trying, you are getting better at both. ~ Geez.
.
Lavender
1 month 1 week ago
Hello, Tigger,
I think for the most part, my initial interpretation was very close. I believe I was uncertain about the fifth stanza and its reference to history. Your explanation helps!
Thank you!
L