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Jul 03, 2020
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The Sound Of Love
You have written
me countless words
of love
None reached into
my heart like the
sound of your smile
as you whisper my name.
— jetz, Jul 03, 2020
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About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Rough draft
Critiques
Geezer
6 years ago
It is hard...
to critique something so short. [Not that there is anything to criticize]. You have succeeded again, in making the case for minimalistic poetry. LoL I really like the blending in of two senses, to give us the line;
"the sound of your smile". I do hope that we get a bit more of poetry that isn't minimalistic and is a longer story. Please? I love a good story and a little more meat of the bone. What I have gotten so far, has only whetted my appetite. Could I get you to add one word? How about adding [has] to the line; "None [has] reached into..." ~ Geezer.
.
jetz
6 years ago
Geezer, but...
if I add that word for you, then I have to add one for everyone, and before you know it, POOF, no more
brevity. Jokes aside, I get it. I'm new to these teenie tiny poems. Never cared for them before but they
are quite challenging, and also quite addicting. I hunted up a longer piece, which I will post. Thank you
for your kind words and for showing an interest in my work. Greatly appreciated.
Sue
Rula
6 years ago
Dearest Sue
Unlike our dear Geezer, I'm a fan of brevity. Why should we say much if we can say the same in few words. I have really enjoyed your gem as I always did.
jetz
6 years ago
Rula, I can always count on you
to bring a smile to my face. Today was no exception. I'm a fan of poetry, all shapes and sizes, just like
people, it takes all kinds . Thank you dear lady.
as always,
Sue
Lavender
6 years ago
The Sound of Love
Hello!
My favorite line: 'the sound of your smile.' I don't even need to read the next line, it is that strong to me. Pretty wonderful.
Thank you,
L
jetz
6 years ago
Lavender,
Thanks for adding your favorite line. I like that. I happen to like that line too.
Tacky of me to say? Oh well, I amaze myself sometimes when I come up
with the perfect line of the moment. Though I've been at it for years, I'm still
new at this.
Thanks again,
Sue
c lynn brooks
6 years ago
Jetz
I love your title very creative
I as Geezer prefer a little more length. What you have here is interesting
jetz
6 years ago
c lynn,
Thanks for the read and the comment. "Interesting", hmmmm, I'll take that.
Beats the hell out of it's drivel.
As I told Geezer, I'll be posting something a tad longer. Who knows, you may
ask me for something shorter! :)
Keeps smiling.
Sue
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