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Skippack Pharmacy comprised of admirable staff
getting a rise after punching down the dough
making believe to pound out in apropos
inexcusable execrable immature actions
that compromised ways and means
to escape pallor of gloom
cast upon my self important
philandering mean mien
unbridled antics of ill repute
undermining the opportunity
of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness
unlike laudatory exemplary entrepreneurs
servicing those amazingly graced
by the employees at 4118 Skippack Pike,
Skippack, PA 19474.
Able, eager, ready and willing
to "separate the wheat from the chaff,"
reassuring a new or returning patient
concerning unfounded and worrisome
vicious diphthong rumor
and plotting vaccine accomplishments
along a visual and bonafide graph
called a line of identity
or line of equality
kibitzing, ribbing, and yakking
(from the ridiculous to the sublime)
with each person entering the door
offering genuine welcome,
and unwittingly offer a laugh
also surmising whether patron
hashtagged as bonafide trustworthy
or on rare occasions
calling in strong
inoculated arm of the law
to intervene and
politely usher out riffraff
and now yours truly bestowing accolades
courtesy tireless energy
upon the dedicated owner
and commendable family man,
and all around
altruistic, characteristic,
and opportunistic Dr. Mayank Amin,
whose wife and offspring flourish,
and most likely consider themselves lucky,
and surprisingly blessed
say if for no apparent reason
an anonymous person
of Ashkenazi of Jewish ancestry,
(which semitic people
yours truly heritage linkedin)
apply appellation as pet name Yaffe,
which means 'beautiful' or 'handsome.
Impossible mission to fulfill sudden demand
for charitable good deeds done dirt cheap,
I feel the heavy invisible hand,
where unfathomable modest benefits
frankly (Frankil lee) flourish,
courtesy heart and soul
of unquestionably generous young entrepreneurs,
whose unflagging contagious esprit de corps
amps up the current roiling
quiet waters run deep
evinced courtesy the magic
dispensing savoir faire
across his ever expanding realm
by virtue of magnanimous demeanor
of Mak (donning his superman persona),
of tricking and treating germ main
agent provocateurs on Halloween,
not just trumpeting the merits
but nearly every day
witnesses him boosting immunity
against unseen microscopic forces
armed to the teeth
dead set against
disease causing microbes
unable to compete against
heavily funded pharmaceutical scientists
or drug discovery scientists,
which multidisciplinary field
involving many different professionals
with specific job titles
and areas of expertise
show of prickly force,
needless (needle less) to write,
who arm themselves with
a phalanx of whip smart
degreed biochemist and premed majors,
and like minded
intelligent post graduate students,
some who acquire their doctorate
with intent to join the rank
and file of pharmaceutical companies
treatment against once
life threatening curse of death
afflictions of body, mind and spirit.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
5 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem presents a complex and multifaceted tribute to the staff and owner of Skippack Pharmacy, weaving together personal reflection, social commentary, and admiration. The language is dense and at times challenging, with a rich vocabulary and a stream-of-consciousness style that demands close reading.
Strengths: - The poem effectively conveys a deep respect for the pharmacy staff and their dedication, especially through vivid imagery like "dispensing savoir faire" and the portrayal of Dr. Mayank Amin as a "superman persona." - The integration of themes such as community service, scientific endeavor, and personal heritage adds layers of meaning and broadens the poem’s scope beyond a simple commendation. - The use of wordplay and parenthetical asides (e.g., “frankly (Frankil lee) flourish,” “needle less”) introduces a playful tone that contrasts with the serious subject matter, creating an engaging tension.
Areas for improvement: - The poem’s syntax and punctuation are often irregular, which can obscure meaning and disrupt the reader’s flow. Consider revising line breaks and punctuation to clarify sentence structure and improve readability. - Some phrases and references feel overly dense or obscure (e.g., “vicious diphthong rumor,” “line of identity or line of equality”), which may alienate readers unfamiliar with the terminology. Providing clearer context or simplifying these expressions could enhance accessibility. - The poem’s length and sprawling structure make it difficult to identify a clear narrative or thematic arc. Introducing more deliberate organization—such as stanzas with focused themes or a more consistent rhythm—might help the reader engage more fully with the poem’s message. - While the poem touches on personal heritage and identity, these elements could be more seamlessly integrated into the overall tribute to strengthen the emotional resonance.
Overall, the poem is ambitious and rich in detail but would benefit from tighter editing to balance complexity with clarity, allowing its heartfelt appreciation and thoughtful insights to shine through more distinctly.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact