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Oct 07, 2011
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Skeletal
Skeletal
Skeletal fingers
Clench around my emptiness
Forcing death’s embrace
My wretched life source
Diminishes in seconds
Exterminated
No life soul released
Existence as a lone ghost
In Purgatory
So, Heaven or Hell
Confess my sins or stay lost
Gates of Hell, open!
© 2011 hoodedstranger.com
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
raj
14 years 6 months ago
Dan
this is quite unlike you to write a short poem in three line verses but very effective...
Hooded Stranger
14 years 6 months ago
Raj
Raj,
as I wrote it, I soon realised by accident that they were almost haiku's, so I touched them up and made them into haiku's. I then wrote a lyric based on these verses. I decided to post these rather than the lyrics...for a change.
I may post the lyric at a later date.
Thanks for dropping by my friend,
regards,
HS
lou
14 years 6 months ago
Dan
I like the short punchy verses, clear,concise and effective. In my view near perfect.
Lou
Hooded Stranger
14 years 6 months ago
Lou
Lou,
I always intended these to be short and hopefully punchy, but not haiku's...but I am pleased with the result now.
Thanks,
HS
raj
14 years 6 months ago
nice to see your departure
nice to see your departure from your preferred style...these are not only well constructed Haikus but they establish a good connection from one verse to the next...
Hooded Stranger
14 years 6 months ago
Raj
raj,
I agree, it is refreshing to break from my preferred style...for a while anyway!
Glad you like them,
cheers,
HS
greeneyes
14 years 6 months ago
wonderful
You are a master of words! Wonderful.
Hooded Stranger
14 years 6 months ago
Elizabeth
Elizabeth,
I don't think I am a master, but I thank you kindly,
regards,
HS
Hooded Stranger
14 years 6 months ago
Lon
Lon,
yes you did, many thanks again,
HS
themoonman
14 years 6 months ago
Take the red pill ...
I did !!!
thanks Dan, enjoyed.
Hooded Stranger
14 years 6 months ago
Richard
Richard.
LOL!
I took them both...wow what a trip!
HS