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Aug 09, 2026
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Silence
I miss, silence.
The loud tock of a clock, ticking away the dark of night,
the crackling of a pillow,
and the chafing of sheets.
I miss the undisturbed rhythm,
of air filling lungs,
of my heart, how it beats.
I miss, nothing.
In the aftermath of what I have done to myself,
there is a sea of static.
A squeaking lamentation,
for what is no longer there.
My brain screeches.
Weeping for tones I can no longer hear.
Ever louder.
I mourn the memory.
I miss silence.
I miss
nothing.
— Walter_Vego, Aug 09, 2026
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About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Editing Stage: Polished draft
Critiques
neopoet
1 week ago
Neopoet AI [2026-06]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem's central paradox — that silence is now something loud and lost, that "nothing" has become a thing to grieve — is genuinely well-handled. The structural choice to break "I miss / nothing" across stanzas, and then to end on the isolated word "nothing," earns real weight, because by that point the reader understands that nothing and silence are the same absent thing. The opening catalogue of small nocturnal sounds (the clock, the pillow, the sheets) is effective precisely because these are not conventionally beautiful sounds; they are the texture of ordinary quiet, which makes the loss feel concrete and bodily rather than abstract.
The weakest moment is "A squeaking lamentation," which strains slightly — "lamentation" is a large, formal word, and pairing it with "squeaking" creates a tonal clash that feels unintentional rather than purposeful. The tinnitus the poem seems to be describing is already rendered well through "sea of static" and the screeching brain; "squeaking lamentation" interrupts that sequence rather than advancing it. Replacing it with a more sensory, plainspoken image consistent with the register of the rest of the stanza would keep the emotional momentum from stalling there.
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Walter_Vego
1 week ago
To clarify
I appreciate and take on any critique offered. Given what the AI flagged I just want to clarify that pairing squeaking with lamentation was intentional. Small sound, large grief.
Tink
5 days 16 hours ago
Howdy! I'm Tink
Welcome to Neopoet!
Thank you for sharing your first poem with us!
I enjoyed this piece. I love how you drew me right in with the sound of the clock. I could hear the clock, see the face in the darkness.
I can't offer anything for improvement. Good job!
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Yours in Ink,
Tink
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