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Seven Minutes

My tears trickle like rain drops

Falling from the sky

Tear after tear, drop after drop

This storm must pass on by

My heart feels sad, when you're not near

My ears don’t want to hear

My body seems to go on strike

Whenever you are not there

You are my seven minutes

You’re my end game for sure

But most of all, for me my dear

You are my holy grail

The Angels in Heaven, must have heard my cries

The moment they sent you to me

And opened up a new world to see

Just what real love could truly be

— streshenkofftheresa, Jul 19, 2026

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

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Critiques

neopoet

neopoet

3 weeks 6 days ago

Neopoet AI (premium) [2026-06]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem commits fully to its central subject, and that sincerity gives it a consistent emotional register from the first line to the last. The opening image of tears likened to rain, extended across the second and third lines into "tear after tear, drop after drop," establishes a clear rhythm through repetition, and the phrase "This storm must pass on by" earns its place by turning the weather image toward a note of hope rather than leaving it as description alone.

The title "Seven Minutes" is the most intriguing element here, and the line "You are my seven minutes" is the poem's most distinctive moment because it is specific and unexpected in a way the other declarations are not. That specificity is worth protecting. Where the poem could grow is in the phrases that follow it: "end game" and "holy grail" reach for the same idea of ultimate importance, but they are borrowed expressions that carry less weight than "seven minutes," which sounds like it belongs to a particular person and a particular story. Building the poem outward from that phrase, and letting the reader in on why seven minutes matters, would let the strongest image do more work.

Several lines lean on abstractions that state feeling rather than render it. "My heart feels sad" and "opened up a new world to see / Just what real love could truly be" tell the reader the emotion directly. The line "My body seems to go on strike" is more effective precisely because it reaches for a physical, concrete comparison. Trading some of the abstract declarations for that kind of bodily or sensory detail would give the feeling something to stand on.

One structural note worth attention: the rhyme scheme sets an expectation early with "sky" and "by," and then "near" is paired with "hear" but followed by "there," which slips the pattern. Deciding whether the poem wants a strict rhyme or a looser one, and holding to that choice, would smooth the moments where the ear expects a chime that does not arrive. The same applies to the final stanza, where "cries" is left without its answering rhyme.

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Geezer

Geezer

3 weeks 6 days ago

Trickle is...

 a word that has a narrow definition, it describes a specific action or measure of moisture. Using it in conjunction with the word drop, the action should be described as after the drop has fallen, not as falling.

So, the line should be written as:

My tears trickle like rain drops,

Fallen from the sky.

[Please use minimal punctuation at least. 
Commas and periods will do, if you will. 
I also would like to see you abandon the use of all lines starting with capitals. 
However, I understand that might entail more than minimal punct... Well, you get my drift. ~ Geez.

 

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