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Rocky the squirrel

 ROCKY THE SQUIRREL

In my youth

I had a open mind

Friendships always came with mysteries

That were to hard too define

So I stayed in my bedroom

Looking out my windows

Too pass the time

I gazed into my backyard

My imagination exploded

Seeing the trees and flowers in harmony

But their was this one crazy squirrel

I couldn’t help but too notice

This squirrel was always about his business

Gathering pinecone and nuts

For his lady friend to visit

One day this squirrel climbed the tree

Munching on the pinecone

And  through my window Rocky the squirrel

Started watching me

Was he offering me some of his pinecone

I very much wanted too believe

At that very moment our friendship was complete

Rocky was young

 And so was i

Through out the summers and winters Rocky remained

A dear friend of mine

 

— Trouble (Trouble), Aug 05, 2026

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Editing Stage: Rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Detroit Mi

Favorite Poets: my poets are john Coltrane and Sarah Vaughan OK they are not poets but their music is reason that I write . I want my poetry to flow like their music

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Critiques

neopoet

neopoet

1 week 3 days ago

Neopoet AI (premium) [2026-06]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem tells a quiet story of childhood solitude and the companionship found in an unlikely place, and its central premise is genuinely appealing. The framing at the opening, with the speaker who "stayed in my bedroom / Looking out my windows," establishes a sense of watchful isolation that gives the later friendship with the squirrel real emotional weight. The turn to a specific animal, named and observed over time, grounds an otherwise abstract meditation on friendship in something concrete and particular, which is where the poem is strongest.

The detail of the squirrel "always about his business / Gathering pinecone and nuts / For his lady friend to visit" is the most alive moment in the poem. It gives Rocky a personality and a routine, and it does so with a light touch. The observation lands because it is specific rather than stated. More moments like this one, where character emerges through action rather than assertion, would strengthen the whole.

By contrast, the claim that "At that very moment our friendship was complete" tells the reader about a feeling the poem has not yet fully earned through image. Consider whether that emotional conclusion could be dramatized instead, the way the pinecone-gathering scene is, so the reader arrives at the sense of friendship on their own. The moment when the squirrel begins "watching me" through the window is a promising place to build such a scene.

A few mechanical points, offered as things to act on. The poem repeatedly uses "too" where "to" is intended ("hard too define," "Too pass," "too notice," "too believe"), and "their" appears where "there" is meant. Tightening these would remove small distractions that pull attention away from the images. "I had a open mind" would read more smoothly as "an open mind." These are easy fixes that would let the poem's warmth come through more clearly.

One structural suggestion: the phrase "hard too define" in the second stanza gestures at the mystery of friendship but leaves it general. Since the poem eventually locates that mystery in something as ordinary and vivid as a squirrel offering a pinecone, the ending might circle back to that opening idea, so the small friendship answers the larger question the poem first raises.

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E

EyeAmI

6 days 15 hours ago

An unexpected friendship

A genuine reflection on your youth, and on the unlikely friendship with Rocky, the Squirrel. 

The rhyme scheme varies. 

 

It is stronger in some stanzas, and looser in others.


I think the piece would benefit from a bit more tightness with the rhymes. 

The context is great, and original. Keep up the good work! 

E

EyeAmI

6 days 15 hours ago

An unexpected friendship

A genuine reflection on your youth, and on the unlikely friendship with Rocky, the Squirrel. 

The rhyme scheme varies. 

 

It is stronger in some stanzas, and looser in others.


I think the piece would benefit from a bit more tightness with the rhymes. 

The context is great, and original. Keep up the good work! 

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