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Rhetoric!

Volumes of thought race through double-tongued mouths.
Communique sport is a ravishing trip.
Up with conundrum a rhetorical script.
Old school politics forgotten long since,
but the river is rising up over its banks.
And soon all will know desolation’s foul stench!
Then bring us your poor, your weak and your masses.
We'll dash them to pieces with the words that we speak!

— Leslie, Dec 08, 2023

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Modern politics.

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Ogden, Utah, USA

Favorite Poets: Jon Anderson, Jon Ondrasik, Donald Fagen, Sting, Eric Bloom , and all of the poets at neo.

More from this author

Critiques

neopoet

neopoet

1 month 1 week ago

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem employs dense, metaphorical language to critique the manipulative power of rhetoric, especially in political contexts. The opening lines—“Volumes of thought race through double-tongued mouths”—immediately establish a tone of duplicity and intellectual excess. The phrase “communique sport is a ravishing trip” suggests that communication has become a game or spectacle, perhaps more about performance than substance.

The poem’s structure is a single stanza with enjambed lines, which creates a sense of urgency and forward momentum, mirroring the “river…rising up over its banks.” The river metaphor is effective in conveying the uncontrollable spread of rhetoric and its destructive potential. The transition from abstract manipulation to concrete violence—“dash them to pieces with the words that we speak”—underscores the poem’s central concern: language as a weapon.

The allusion to Emma Lazarus’s “The New Colossus” (“bring us your poor, your weak and your masses”) is subverted here, turning a symbol of welcome into one of threat. This reversal is a strong rhetorical move, though it may benefit from further development or context to clarify the target of the critique.

To strengthen the poem, consider refining some of the imagery for clarity. For example, “communique sport is a ravishing trip” is intriguing but somewhat opaque; sharpening this image could increase its impact. Additionally, the poem might benefit from more concrete examples or sensory details to ground the abstract concepts.

Overall, the poem’s tone and imagery effectively convey cynicism about political rhetoric and its consequences. Further specificity and clarity could deepen the emotional and intellectual resonance.

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