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Rhetoric!

Volumes of thought race through double-tongued mouths.
Communique sport is a ravishing trip.
Up with conundrum a rhetorical script.
Old school politics forgotten long since,
but the river is rising up over its banks.
And soon all will know desolation’s foul stench!
Then bring us your poor, your weak and your masses.
We'll dash them to pieces with the words that we speak!

— Leslie, Dec 08, 2023

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Modern politics.

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Ogden, Utah, USA

Favorite Poets: Jon Anderson, Jon Ondrasik, Donald Fagen, Sting, Eric Bloom , and all of the poets at neo.

More from this author

Critiques

neopoet

neopoet

1 month 1 week ago

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem employs vivid metaphor and a tone of rising urgency to critique the destructive potential of rhetoric. The opening lines—“Volumes of thought race through double-tongued mouths”—immediately establish a sense of duplicity and the overwhelming force of language. The phrase “Communique sport is a ravishing trip” introduces a playful yet dangerous quality to communication, suggesting both allure and peril.

The poem’s structure is loosely formal, with short lines and intermittent rhyme (“trip”/“script,” “since”/“stink”), which creates a sense of unpredictability that mirrors the poem’s thematic focus on rhetorical manipulation. The shift in imagery from political amnesia (“Old school politics forgotten long since”) to natural disaster (“the river is rising up over its banks”) effectively escalates the stakes, moving from the abstract to the concrete.

The penultimate and final lines invoke the famous inscription from the Statue of Liberty, but subvert its meaning: “Then bring us your poor, your weak and your masses. / We’ll dash them to pieces with the words that we speak!” This reversal is a powerful indictment of how rhetoric can be weaponized against the vulnerable, and it lands with particular force.

One area for further development is clarity of progression. The poem moves rapidly from one image to another, and while this contributes to the sense of chaos, some readers may find the transitions abrupt. Consider whether additional connective tissue—either through imagery or syntax—might help guide the reader through the poem’s argument.

Additionally, the poem’s tone is consistently biting, but it might benefit from a moment of ambiguity or complexity regarding the speaker’s stance, which could deepen the emotional resonance.

Overall, the poem’s use of metaphor and subversion is effective in conveying its critique of rhetorical violence. Further refinement of transitions and tonal complexity could enhance its impact.

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