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R
raj
May 06, 2014 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

A Renga on Roses

They bloom to bring cheer
in wreaths shed silent tears
then are forgotten.

Such iconic life though short
shows how to deal with the thorns

A nice addition volunteered by Ian:-

Inside the rose bud
The perfume of feeling grows
My love is held so

So tightly within my heart
I know that she sees me there.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

More from this author

Comments

I

IKnowNoBox

11 years 11 months ago

Bravo

I like the Tanka, and the Cinquen (sp). I have one Tanka I need to post soon. It is an Acrostic Tanka with tough subject.

Thanks for sharing,
Dabbler

R

raj

11 years 11 months ago

David

Thanks for your visit and comment. Good to know you liked it. Please do post your acrostic Tanka. As I have learnt while participating in a recent workshop conducted by Barbara A Tanka is a three liner 5-7-5 syllable sequence (Senryu) followed by a two liner, each line having a 7 syllable count. You may already be in the know of it.

Regards,

R

raj

11 years 11 months ago

Hi Emeka

Thanks for your visit and comment. Will keep me inspired.

Regards,

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

11 years 11 months ago

raj

this is beautiful well written. In "wreath a silent tear" seems to me 6 syllables rather than 7

R

raj

11 years 11 months ago

Barbara

thank you for your appreciative comment

I have made a small change in line 2 to make it 7 syllables....hope this works well now..

Regards,

Ian.T

Ian.T

11 years 11 months ago

raj it's an age thing LOL

An addition to your Rose theme that is written well:-

Inside the rose bud
The perfume of feeling grows
My love is held so

So tightly within my heart
I know that she sees me there.

R

raj

11 years 11 months ago

Ian

Thanks for the visit and making a wonderful addition to the Tanka....I believe your comment was meant for me and not Alid :)

Regards,

alidzain

alidzain

11 years 11 months ago

Raj,

you forgot to change the title. it's no longer a tanka, its a renga.

Alid

alidzain

alidzain

11 years 11 months ago

Raj

you've inspired me to post a Renga here when I never believe I could do it before. Its entitled "Renga On Lost Wisdom". Do check on it and give me your comments, my dear friend.

Alid

loved

loved

11 years 11 months ago

at times i feel

I should enroll
as a poetry student raj with thee
you are exquisite

I love roses with thorns too
and do you know
light can not be appreciated
without visual darkness

So roses and thorns
do complement each other
what value has a rose
when thorn is torn

R

raj

11 years 11 months ago

Loved

Thanks for the visit and your nice comment / opinion about roses and thorns. Being a workshop it is a place to share and in doing that we learn. I am as much a student as I am pretty sure other amateurs like me are...

Regards,

loved

loved

11 years 11 months ago

So am I

a mature
rather amateur
which only I know you may express
ur views too

L

Lonnie

11 years 11 months ago

Hello once again, raj!

Very well-written piece! I am not too familiar with the style, but it seemed to flow nicely, and had some exceptional imagery to boot! Good reading you again, my friend!

R

raj

11 years 11 months ago

Hello Lonnie

Thanks for the visit and your kind words....good to know it worked for you...i always appreciate your visit...

Regards,