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Sep 29, 2025
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Redacting historical records...
at the capital expense
(compounded interest) of amortizing future
unborn generations who will be ignorant
courtesy whitewashing history tantamount
to redacting corpus of established truths...
accentuating bland Caucasian deeds
effacing grand heroics implicating
justifiable kick/jumpstarting
laudable anonymous martyred natives.
Home schooling precious charges
would allow, enable, and provide parents
or legal caretakers/guardians
the freedom to teach boys and girls
impressionable minds
with unadulterated information
and refraining whenever, wherever,
and however from spoon/
buzz feeding tabula rasa
with watered down pablum
that generally distorted, insulted, offended,
and vitiated the heartbreaking legacy
of countless, gumption leavened,
ruminative, and spiritual
singing, yodeling folks
sabotaged of their natural birthright
to pursue rightful life, liberty
and the pursuit of happiness
by the amazing chance of
one or more sperm
fertilizing an ova
simply bestowed, granted,
ordained, since zygote
bequeathing inherent credence
clearwater manifesting into amniotic sac
by dint of being brought
into the webbed, wide world
within the skein of existence
which conception ought
to be a guarantee for existence
courtesy mysterious and miraculous
process of human reproduction,
which gift of son or daughter
violently snatched by the malevolence
of one slave owner on par
with emasculating (in my humble opinion),
a submissive young,
muscular, and virile man
cue Uncle Tom character
fleshed out by Harriet Beecher Stowe,
but subsequently applied
to passivity of scared slaves in general,
some who stood steadfast
and suffered whippings
(analogous to Thomas Jonathan
"Stonewall" Jackson the Civil War general,
who stood like a statue,
the incident that earned him
his famous nickname occurred
during the First Battle of Bull Run
(or First Manassas)
on July 21, 1861, in Virginia),
now back on track
with those sold as chattel
and savaged thrashed courtesy
against brick bats brow beating
men, women and children
people of color into a bloody pulp,
and/or their brethren),
no matter he refused order
decreed courtesy master
typecast as Simon Legree
suffering in absolute zero utterance
to obey him and helplessly
watch him beat other slaves,
the stock character of the minstrel shows
degenerated into a shuffling,
asexual individual,
with a receding hairline
and graying hair,
yet retreating behind the guise
of violent punishment
knowing that elysian fields
awaited being beaten severely senseless,
an inch of his life
drinking supposed eternity
gratis regarding the soul asylum
within the bosom of divine creator.
Whitewashing an injustice
and violation of sacrifice
regarding diluting to the point of solubility
and hence The quote "Those
who do not know history
compelled to repeat it"
a common paraphrase of the line
"Those who cannot remember the past
condemned to repeat it,"
famously attributed
to the philosopher George Santayana
in his seminal work The Life of Reason.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
6 months 3 weeks ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem undertakes a complex and ambitious exploration of historical redaction, systemic injustice, and the importance of truthful education. The dense, sprawling structure reflects the weighty subject matter, but this approach sometimes challenges the reader’s ability to follow the argument and emotional arc. Consider breaking the poem into clearer stanzas or sections to help guide the reader through the shifts in focus—from historical critique to the value of homeschooling, to reflections on slavery and cultural memory.
The poem’s language is rich with allusions and references, such as Harriet Beecher Stowe’s Uncle Tom and Stonewall Jackson, which add depth but may benefit from more contextual framing or condensation to maintain momentum. Some lines are highly abstract or packed with complex vocabulary (“gumption leavened,” “vitiated the heartbreaking legacy”), which can obscure meaning. Simplifying or varying diction could enhance accessibility without sacrificing intellectual rigor.
The extended metaphor of “redacting” history is powerful but might be sharpened by more consistent imagery or repeated motifs to unify the poem’s sprawling ideas. The poem’s tone veers between polemical and reflective; balancing these registers with more deliberate pacing and emotional resonance could strengthen its impact.
Finally, the closing invocation of Santayana’s quote effectively anchors the poem’s theme but feels somewhat abrupt. A more integrated conclusion that synthesizes the poem’s insights on history, memory, and education would provide a more satisfying resolution.
Overall, the poem’s ambition and thematic scope are commendable, but refining structure, clarity, and tonal consistency would greatly enhance its communicative power.
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