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Jun 25, 2026
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a poet's soul
"a poet's soul"
beneath the crush of ink and bone
a voice uncoils in shadowed tone
shrouded, deep, like roots that sleep
their counsel rising from chambers deep
each word a key, each pause a door
through unlit halls, through gaps they pore
each echo shaped by breath and ache
the kind no daylight dares to wake
a stammer turned to silver thread
that stitches silence with mortal dread
and in their seam, the heart can hear
a truth too strange to disappear
so read these lines and read them twice
a map that’s drawn on shifting ice
for those who on it walk, steps are swept
to find the soul this poet kept
.
— crypticbard, Jun 25, 2026
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About This Poem
Last Few Words: "a poet's soul" beneath the crush of ink and bone a voice uncoils in shadowed tone shrouded, deep, like roots that sleep their counsel rising in ivory tower’s keep each word a key, each pause a door through unlit halls, through gaps they pore each echo shaped by breath and ache the kind no daylight dares to wake a stammer turned to silver thread that stitches silence with mortal dread and in their seam, the heart can hear a truth too strange to disappear so read these lines and read them twice a map that’s drawn on shifting ice for those who on it walk, steps are swept to find the soul this poet kept .
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Editing Stage: Polished draft
Critiques
neopoet
3 weeks 4 days ago
Neopoet AI [2026-06]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem has several genuinely effective moments, particularly in the third stanza, where "a stammer turned to silver thread / that stitches silence with mortal dread" earns its music through concrete transformation: the image of mending with thread does real work, converting a speech hesitation into something tactile and strange. The closing couplet of that stanza also holds together well, with "a truth too strange to disappear" landing with quiet conviction rather than forced drama.
The weaker passages tend to occur when the poem reaches for grandeur through vague accumulation rather than specific image. "Shrouded, deep, like roots that sleep / their counsel rising in ivory tower's keep" is an example: "ivory tower" carries so much worn cultural baggage that it deflates the atmospheric work the surrounding lines are trying to do, and "counsel rising" is abstract in a way that stalls the momentum. Similarly, the final stanza's "a map that's drawn on shifting ice" is promising as an image, but "for those who on it walk, steps are swept" bends the syntax awkwardly to fit the rhyme, producing a line that requires re-reading not for rewarding complexity but simply to parse its grammar. A useful revision exercise would be to test each closing line of a couplet: if the syntax has been distorted to arrive at the rhyme word, it is worth asking whether the rhyme is earning that cost, or whether a slant rhyme or a reordered line could preserve both sound and natural sense.
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Tink
3 weeks 4 days ago
Howdy! It's me, Tink
From WAY back, I have always reading your work!! and this one is no different!! The only thing that caused me to stumble is the second line does not rhyme as the rest of the poem. Though I love it, I think you will do better justice to rework if you can to have the entire piece consistent.
It's just my opinion, take from it what you can use and leave the rest!
It's good to read you again. I look forward to reading more,
Live, Love and Laugh!
(and don't forget to Write!!)
Yours in Ink,
Tink
Frederick Kesner
3 weeks 4 days ago
Hello Tink!
it’s so good to see you again! Thank you so much for stopping by and for your kind words. I really appreciate you taking the time to read this one and give your thoughts on its structure.
About that second line: the break in the rhyme there is intentional. It’s the moment the voice “uncoils,” so I let the form slip a little before it settles into the tighter pattern that follows. But I completely understand why it caught your ear — that’s exactly what was designed with the inversion of ink and bone and in the second line 'a voice uncoils in shadowed tone,' which is the actual straightforward rhyme.
Thank you again for the thoughtful read. It’s always a pleasure when you drop by. See you in the next one.
Geezer
3 weeks 4 days ago
Hey Freddie...
as usual, your words make me love rhyme more than ever.
I read this with a Dr. Suess kind of "Cat in the Hat" rhythm and it went perfectly! I get what you were doing in the last stanza, I'm not sure that it works better than the line would have been, without the twist, but certainly not able to ignore it. ~ Geez.
Frederick Kesner
3 weeks 3 days ago
Most appreciated dear G
love that the rhythm carried you; that surface bounce is part of the poem’s music.
Underneath it, though, the poem is running on a different engine than Seuss: the rhyme is meant to tighten the space rather than lighten it, and the last stanza slips the rhythm on purpose to match the instability of the ice.
I’m glad the twist was felt and obvious enough to respond to; that means the structural weight that the rhyming bore, did its job.
kellustzall
3 weeks 2 days ago
So good
Very impressionistic and full of consisent symbolism. Read em lines and read em THRICE.
I love how its "on it walk" and not "walk on it" it has this sudden ankles slip deep in the water feel to it, a glitch of syntax is a flinch of reflex.
Frederick Kesner
3 weeks 2 days ago
Thank you so much!
It’s a rare joy when someone feels the slip the line was meant to carry. That inversion isn’t common nowadays, but every so often it gives the right kind of tremor. Your reading catches that perfectly, and I’m genuinely grateful for it..🙏🕊️🤩
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