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One men also cries

One men also cries
Because some of his friends
Had broken his heart again
And he is not feeling too happy
About that
And he  is also crying because
He is feeling hurt
Also this men have the right
To 
confront them
Also he has been
Crying all night
Also they don't treat him
With the respect he needs
Also he  doesn't know
What to do about his friends
Eventually the best thing
He could do is end
The friendship with his friends
Right away
And tell them to go and
Live  their own life
And he is also going to
Live his life alone
Yes he is going to feel
Lonely for a while
Also he is not going
To rush in making friends

— poetaldo, May 12, 2026

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Ontario

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, Patrick Friesen, Michael ondatje

More from this author

Critiques

neopoet

neopoet

3 weeks 3 days ago

Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem addresses the emotional vulnerability of men and the pain of broken friendships. The subject matter is clear and relatable, and the poem attempts to challenge stereotypes about masculinity and emotional expression.

Several aspects could be strengthened:

1. **Grammar and Word Choice:** The phrase “One men also cries” is grammatically incorrect; “One man also cries” or “Men also cry” would be more accurate. Throughout the poem, “men” is used where “man” is intended, which creates confusion. Consistent pronoun use (“he,” “his”) is important for clarity.

2. **Repetition and Redundancy:** The word “also” appears frequently, sometimes multiple times in a single stanza. While repetition can be a poetic device, here it becomes distracting and dilutes the emotional impact. Consider varying sentence structure and word choice to create emphasis without redundancy.

3. **Line Breaks and Structure:** The poem reads as a single block of text with line breaks that do not always serve the rhythm or meaning. Revising the line breaks to highlight emotional shifts or important moments would strengthen the poem’s flow. For example, separating the decision to end the friendship from the aftermath could create a more dramatic effect.

4. **Imagery and Specificity:** The poem relies on general statements (“he is not feeling too happy,” “he is feeling hurt”) rather than concrete imagery or specific examples. Incorporating sensory details or particular memories would make the emotional experience more vivid and engaging.

5. **Emotional Arc:** The poem moves from sadness to resolution, but the transition is abrupt. Expanding on the internal conflict or the process of decision-making could add depth and resonance.

6. **Title:** The title suffers from the same grammatical issue as the poem’s opening line. A revised title, such as “A Man Also Cries” or “Men Also Cry,” would be clearer and more impactful.

Overall, focusing on grammatical accuracy, reducing redundancy, and incorporating more specific details would enhance the poem’s emotional power and clarity.

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