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Jun 12, 2020
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OH PAINFUL INJECTION!
Truth!
Touches the addresses
Just like the sharp pinch
Of a medical injection
Which demands the patient's
Courage before been injected.
Ruminate the mind,
Like an injection's aftermath
When the body has it touch
To work faster and effectively.
Holding no grudges
Against the injecter,
Because the injection's
Impact and adjustment
Is now felt without
The then injection pain.
©BunmiteGrace
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
5 years 4 months ago
I like your title...
but your language could be a bit clearer. I get that truth is sometimes painful, but other than that, I'm not sure of what you are driving at. ~ Geezer.
.
Gracy
5 years 4 months ago
Hi, I've not read your poetry
Hi, I've not read your poetry before. Are you new here? If so, welcome, you'll find good works and comments here.
The theme of your poem is highly original, the title brought me in at once. I more or less understand what you're saying, but I get a little confused. I think you need to work on it a little, for the sake of clarity.
I'll return to make a more constructive comment, all the best, Gracy
c lynn brooks
5 years 4 months ago
T too
was confused at what you were trying to say here