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Aug 27, 2024
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Observations of an Amphibious Creature
Frog he hops,
Then he stops.
Tadpole sees.
— Alex Tanner, Aug 27, 2024
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About This Poem
Editing Stage: Rough draft
Critiques
Rula
1 year 10 months ago
Hello Alex
I don't claim that I'm getting this one hundred percent, but I always applaud the brevity that goes with a message and always assume that others are much brighter than I.
I thought it might have sth to do with growth and transformation,
Am I even close?
Alex Tanner
1 year 10 months ago
Hello Rula
Don't think about it. What is there to get? It's just three lines. Be brighter than most, don't look for what isn't there. Alex.
Candlewitch
1 year 10 months ago
Dear Alex,
I like the abruptness of this poem...no clutter!
*hugs, Cat
Lavender
1 year 10 months ago
Observations of an Amphibious Creature
Hello, Alex!
Really like this! Fun title! The "aha" feeling I love in minimal, observational poetry. I'm right there with that tadpole...
I do wonder about removing "the" from the first and third lines. They don't seem necessary, and then you will have three crisp, 3-syllable lines. Just a thought.
Thank you!
L
Alex Tanner
1 year 10 months ago
Thanks L
You're not wrong. I'll do it now. Alex
Lavender
1 year 10 months ago
Hello, Alex,
Just a big grin with this one. Somewhere out there, this is really going' on...
L
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