For Nothing

For years I felt I deserved whatever Karma had in store for me
The physical pain, the sleepless nights, the troubles in the horizon
For every mirror I broke I joked seven more were added to the curse
When I reflected on my past seeing how the consequence ties in

For decades I carried that burden without knowing how to express it
While self-loathe and anger anchored me down deep into the ground
Guilt is a bitch and a half to carry in the mind and in the heart
Like old ghosts holding my head underwater, calmly watching me drown

And no matter how many verses I penned, spilled and tried to compose
There was always a void that left me asking questions wondering why
The younger version of me left a path of destruction and debris
Feeling some type of blue even under the most beautiful blue sky

It wasn’t until I was older that I learned I had to forgive myself
To get rid of that ominous shadow that waited with a deathblow
Realizing I carried shame and remorse, quietly, for nothing
Until I let go of the guilt, so I could move forward and finally grow