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May 31, 2012
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Night's Embrace
Lying in my bed,
Darkness all ‘round,
A million thoughts pass through my head,
With an eerie lack of sound,
Visions of little consequence,
A homesick mans faded friends,
Lost lover’s stroll by in a motley of shame,
Sights that make no sense,
My waking dreams that do not end,
Sleep comes now,
A shadow grudgingly embraced,
Dawn is just ‘round the bend,
Night follows dawn with unseemly haste,
To bring me back to where it began.
Zachary J. Eakin
— zjeakin, May 31, 2012
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About This Poem
Last Few Words: Trying something new, so don't blast me to badly.
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Critiques
weirdelf
14 years ago
No need to blast it.
some great lines
A million thoughts pass through my head,
With an eerie lack of sound,
Lost lover’s stroll by in a motley of shame,
A couple of nitpicks
Darkness all ‘round,
Darkness all around, [I think would scan better]
A homesick mans faded friends,
A homesick man's faded friends,
Yes, a very good poem beautifully expressed.