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Rula

Jul 27, 2018 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

My Mom, My Moon (Sunku)

Pizza
and apple pie
that's ambrosia

Showers
of blessings
are cleansing home

Her face
resembles
that of the moon's.

— Rula, Jul 27, 2018

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

More from this author

Critiques

R

7 years 10 months ago

a fine Sunku Rula about a

a fine Sunku Rula about a home maker's dream..you need to correct the spello about cleansing

third stanza could also be like

crescent
in my sky [meaning home]
reflects the mood
...............................................

7 years 10 months ago

Raj

Thanks for reading and the correction. Much appreciated

R

7 years 10 months ago

i also edited my comment with

i also edited my comment with a suggestion
..............................................................

7 years 10 months ago

A very good one

Way to go dear raj!
I think I need to work more on the subtext thing to amaliorate

R

7 years 10 months ago

it's a very small change I

it's a very small change I have proposed to you Rula
..................................................................

R

7 years 10 months ago

Rula

you have missed n in cleansing...
..................................

7 years 10 months ago

Ooops

Not again. Pah! Damn those tired eyes. :(

R

7 years 10 months ago

dear Rula

it happens to everyone...good to see you posting Sunku

good night
............................................................................

7 years 10 months ago

wow

I was at the Apple Farm
@KINGSTON
wish had realised
your ambrosia
earlier

7 years 10 months ago

Hope

You've enjoyed it anyway lovedly

7 years 10 months ago

yes but of course

now when you walk my page
it's a pleasant surprise

7 years 10 months ago

Thanks

Lovedly for the kind words

R

7 years 10 months ago

may be this

that of the moon's. [a crescent moon]
......................................................................

7 years 10 months ago

Thank you raj

for the thoughtful read.
I thought the change to (crescent moon) won't meet my mother's full moon face, or at least what I see in her:-)
Thanks for your endless support my friend.