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Aug 11, 2026
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On My Mind
Baby can we spend a little time,
Tell you what’s on my mind.
Take you on a search to find,
The midpoint between chemistry, fantasy, reality, and the parameters of the domain what we feel is love.
You got me thinking about the blend of our bond,
And how our pursuit of happiness and nastiness caused us to intersect while leading seemingly parallel lives.
They say adversity,
Makes you stronger,
But I say it keeps me longing for you longer.
When the world is a against me,
I see what I need to see,
When I see a supporter, an ally, a friend, a soldier, a lover,
And a woman who makes everywhere feel like home.
You’re on my mind…
When times are good,
I want you.
You’re on my mind…
When times get hard,
I need you.
You’re on my mind…
When you’re away
I crave your attention.
Did I fail to mention.
I crave your presence too…
You’re on my mind.
You give me energy
To fight the enemy.
You’re never my enemy
Because of your energy.
I will never fight with you see,
But I will always fight for you.
If I want your attention,
Then you know I’ll never ignore you.
You are my reason,
So I’ll do anything for you.
These are just the type of things I think about,
When I say you’re on my mind.
Just want you to have your flowers because a woman like you is hard to find.
You’re on my mind…
When times are good,
I want you.
You’re on my mind…
When times get hard,
I need you.
You’re on my mind…
When you’re away
I crave your attention.
Did I fail to mention.
I crave your presence too…
You’re on my mind.
You got me thinking and thinking.
It’s finally starting to sink in…
It’s us against the world,
And we have odds stacked against us.
You were sent by God,
So in you,
I will trust.
To withstand the stormy weather,
We must do this together.
Ever come what may,
We are in this forever.
I trust you with my whole heart,
And know you’ll always be behind me.
You treat me so kindly,
I would follow you blindly.
You chose to see me,
When no one else could find me.
And I thank you.
That’s what’s on my mind.
Thank you.
— Anthony Drains, Aug 11, 2026
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About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Final polish
Critiques
neopoet
4 days 17 hours ago
Neopoet AI [2026-06]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem's clearest strength is its emotional sincerity, and the chorus structure works well as an anchor. The repeated "You're on my mind" refrain with the want/need/crave progression genuinely earns its repetition — each pass adds a small emotional increment, and that restraint in the chorus contrasts effectively with the more expansive verses. The closing verse also lands with some tenderness, particularly the image of being seen "when no one else could find me," which carries real weight and feels earned by that point in the poem.
The main area needing attention is line-level precision in the verses, where abstraction and overcrowding weaken the impact. A line like "the midpoint between chemistry, fantasy, reality, and the parameters of the domain what we feel is love" tries to do too much conceptually and loses rhythmic footing in the process — the phrase "parameters of the domain" pulls the reader into technical language that clashes with the intimate register the poem otherwise inhabits. Similarly, the energy/enemy quatrain in the third verse rotates the same two words so rapidly that the wordplay starts to feel mechanical rather than playful. The suggestion would be to identify the two or three images in the verses that feel most alive — "sent against the world," the soldier-ally-lover listing, the blindly/kindly/find me chain — and build outward from those, trimming the more abstract connective tissue so the poem's genuine feeling has room to breathe.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to our contact form.
Tink
3 days 18 hours ago
Howdy! I'm Tink
Welcome to Neopoet!
Thank you for sharing your first poem with us! I (personally) have issues with longer poems, I tend to start to skim longer poems. I liked what I was able to read until I found myself skimming. I will revisit this one to reread it.
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Yours in Ink,
Tink
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