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May 01, 2025
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My Last Love Poem
Though tempted by the silver moon,
the sigh of waves along this shore,
I hesitate to rhyme too soon
about your features I adore.
I long to kiss those lustful lips,
to hold your fevered hand in mine,
to burn against your sultry hips
and feel the earth quake up my spine.
Yet, here I stand, alone, beguiled,
with only this last thought of you
to temper these words, boldly wild
while facing what I know is true.
You are a dream, a wish I cast.
My poem, thus, remains my last.
— Lavender, May 01, 2025
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About This Poem
Last Few Words: Only a dream...
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Critiques
Rula
1 year 1 month ago
Hello dear Lavender
What a powerful return. A beautiful sonnet, the least to say:) If I may suggest adding "that" to Line 4 , 1st stanza to read
about your features (that) I adore
so as to keep the syllable count steady through out the piece.
Best wishes.
Thank you for sharing.
Lavender
1 year 1 month ago
Hello, Rula!
Thank you for your kind words! A sonnet seemed appropriate for a last love poem. Hmm... I tried to keep each line to an 8 syllable count, and I think that line is also 8, but I'll look again. Thanks, always, for your suggestions and generous help!
Take good care,
Lx
Rula
1 year 1 month ago
Sorry
That line is also 8.
My apologies dear
Lavender
1 year 1 month ago
All good!
Thank you for your keen eye and knowledge!
I'm always grateful!
Lxx
Geezer
1 year 1 month ago
Exactly...
the kind of poem that you might write about a dream, an erotic dream. We all know that those kinds of dreams are just the kind when the mind gets bored and we wonder if... Well done, ~ Geez.
.
Lavender
1 year 1 month ago
Hello, Geezer,
Yes, wondering if...
Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts!
Lx
Clentin Martin
1 year 1 month ago
Very nice poem. I enjoyed it
Very nice poem. I enjoyed it very much. Emotions show through each line.
Lavender
1 year 1 month ago
Hello, Clentin,
Thank you very much!
L
Punkyfrewster
1 year ago
Lavender
Congratulations on your well-deserved win!
Lavender
1 year ago
Hello, Punky!
Thank you! I appreciate you!
L
Dalton
1 year ago
Hi Lavender
Feel of a beautiful romantic Aisling
Lavender
1 year ago
Hello, John,
Hmm... I'll put some thought into that - good to know it has potential in that direction!
Thank you!
L
The Gogetter
1 year ago
Response to Lavender's poem
So soft and gentle Lavender. The lines of the poem roll along like waves going back and forward. Just love the flowing rhythm.
Lavender
1 year ago
Hello, Gogetter,
I really appreciate your thoughts with this. Many thanks!
L
systemicum
2 months 1 week ago
Hesitant on commenting on the poems of the "veterans" here ...
I do not yet feel I "earned" this right.
But I do have to say: I love your rich and versatile vocabulary - a lot to be learned from that!
So wonderful, how you open and close the poet:
"I hesitate to rhyme too soon
about your features I adore."
...
"You are a dream, a wish I cast.
My poem, thus, remains my last."
Thank you for this display of finesse and "mastery".
(BTW: Are you on Facebook as well? I think I have been following your profile there for quite some time already ...)
Lavender
2 months 1 week ago
Thank you so much...
for your kind words and support! I am touched and really grateful.
L
(Hmm... nope, this Lavender is not on Facebook.)