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Dec 28, 2015
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Meshing Haiku
River rises swift
In cold spring morning
Wet snow melting as it falls
The north wind penetrating
Pushing sheets of rain
Over mountain pass
— Buddha, Dec 28, 2015
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About This Poem
Last Few Words: Meshing Haiku is one that is structured 5-7-5-7-5 and the left and right side can stand alone as individual haiku but work well as a whole
Style/Type: Structured: Eastern
Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Critiques
alidzain
10 years 5 months ago
Buddha
Its a beautiful poetry but its not haiku since haiku has only 3 lines and follow the format of 5/7/5 syllable counts.. Even if you meshed it up a haiku still has only 3 lines.lol.
Alid
Race_9togo
10 years 5 months ago
Greetings,
and Welcome to Neopoet.
I enjoyed this poem, and I learned a new form, 'meshing haiku"!
I can find no fault; you imagery is great, you have stayed with the form, and it all comes together well.
Good poetry.
Buddha
10 years 4 months ago
Thank you for your review and
Thank you for your review and encouraging words.
Esker
10 years 4 months ago
awesome
sheets of rain..
been awhile since I heard that
and in a poem
even better!!!
better was I remember seeing
it..working in it and just
having too be in it
thank U