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This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoet Weekly 6/07/26 to 06/13/26

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Many sins.

Sunday morning , cold and forsaken the church doors are all closed.

I think about you alone in your hospital bed.Going over all the things I didn't do and the words I left unsaid.

We walked hand in hand into the trap.I should've known one of us may not make it back. But denial is a funny thing, it can hide the truth from your eyes, even when it's right in front of your face.

Praying on bended knee.Oh God , just one more chance for salvation

If you can reach out and pull me from the waters and set me safely upon the shore. When she comes knocking, oh Lord, Surely you will open the door.

Invite her in and wipe every tear from her eyes and forgive our many , many sins.

— flj011278, Jun 08, 2026

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Favorite Poets: Spirit.

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neopoet

neopoet

1 week 4 days ago

Neopoet AI (premium) [2026-06]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem builds its emotional weight through a single sustained scene—the closed church doors on a cold Sunday morning—and that opening image does real work. The forsaken, locked church establishes both the speaker's spiritual isolation and the impossibility of the consolation being sought, all before the poem names its grief outright. That restraint is effective.

The strongest moment is the line about denial: "it can hide the truth from your eyes, even when it's right in front of your face." It earns its place because the preceding image of two people walking "hand in hand into the trap" has already dramatized that blindness, so the abstraction lands as a confirmation rather than a claim made in a vacuum. The movement from concrete image to reflection works here.

The prayer that follows leans on more familiar religious phrasing—being pulled "from the waters" and set "upon the shore," the knocking at the door, the wiping of tears. These images carry genuine feeling, but they arrive ready-made, and as a result the specific person being mourned begins to fade behind conventional language. The hospital bed in the second stanza is the poem's most particular detail, and the prayer might gain power by returning to that specific room and that specific person rather than to inherited imagery. One concrete recollection of the one in the bed—a gesture, an object, something only this speaker would know—could anchor the plea for salvation in the loss that prompted it.

The phrase "many, many sins" in the closing line, and the title that echoes it, raise a question the poem leaves unexplored: what the sins actually were. The reference to a shared "trap" hints at something, but the nature of the guilt stays general. Naming even a fragment of what the speaker feels accountable for would let the final request for forgiveness carry the weight the repetition is reaching for.

A note on the line breaks: several sentences run together without a space after the period, and the stanza divisions sometimes split a single thought. Attending to where each line ends would let the pacing reinforce the meaning, particularly in the more fragmented passages where the breath of the prayer could itself become part of the form.

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Geezer

Geezer

1 week 2 days ago

I think...

 that the situation didn't go off like it was planned. 
That the "sinners" would be forgiven for their transgressions, when they had confessed and repudiated their behavior? Guilt trip? Did it get out of hand? Interesting... It leaves one wondering, [as one frequently does], about what happens next?

Good story, not sure if anything I might say would be of value. 

I like it. Is there another chapter? Chronicles, by any chance?

~ Geezer


 

Frank Johnson

Frank Johnson

1 week ago

There is

These poems are all part of a larger body of work, culminating, in a personal testimony. From the lowest darkest points of desperation, 2 spiritual revelation. And restoration one poem at a time. The many stories will become one.Thank you for reading and interacting!

 

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