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Jun 23, 2026
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I Mean It
I love the sound of your voice when you're mad and irritated, it sounds like you're calling the ocean to sweep out the problem.
I love the color of your skin even when you're having a bad day, your skin plays mercifully to your body complimenting your mind.
I love your lazy eyes, especially when they are excited, they like cracking out fireworks as bright as they can, especially when you see me before you.
I love your forbidden lips and nose, they are the no go zone, but some day I hope to land in forcefully, just to wrap you in-between my heart.
It's clear I'm all in love with you, which is insane because it would mean the lightning thunder gets along with the rainbow and time doesn't exist.
Ashleigh Ngoqo
— AshleighNgoqo, Jun 23, 2026
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About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Final polish
Critiques
neopoet
2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI [2026-06]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem's emotional sincerity is its strongest quality, and the impulse to catalog specific physical details — voice, skin, eyes, lips — gives it a clear structural spine that many love poems lack. The image of the voice "calling the ocean to swipe out the problem" is genuinely interesting: it reaches for something forceful and elemental, and with a little refinement it could be the poem's most memorable moment. Similarly, the closing conceit of lightning and rainbow coexisting has real potential as a way of saying that this love defies natural logic.
The main area that needs attention is precision and consistency in the figurative language. Several images shift register mid-phrase in ways that blur rather than deepen meaning — "your skin plays mercifully to your body complimenting your mind" stacks abstractions without landing on a clear picture, and "eyes like cracking out fireworks" loses grip on the comparison partway through. The fourth stanza deserves particular care: describing lips and a nose as "forbidden" and expressing a wish to "land in forcefully" introduces an unsettling edge that likely runs counter to the poem's tender intention — reconsidering the word "forcefully" and what exactly "forbidden" means in this context would strengthen both the tone and the emotional honesty the poem is clearly reaching for. A useful revision exercise would be to take each image and ask what single concrete thing it is trying to show, then cut back to that one thing without the surrounding qualifiers.
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