I Hate you

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem's central reveal — that the "you" is another self, or perhaps the will to live personified — lands with real emotional weight by the final lines, and the tonal shift from contempt to longing in "my words will betray me if I tell you what I would really do to be with you" is the strongest moment in the piece. The repetition of "I hate you" functions well as a structural anchor, and the closing series of "You tell me" questions carries a kind of exhausted desperation that feels earned.

The main area to develop is precision in the earlier stanzas. Lines like "You always do what I least want" and "You always overcomplicate things" are too general to carry emotional force on their own — they read as placeholder observations rather than specific images. The poem does find its specificity later, in "their sheer innocence drives me crazy" and "I hate how you keep trying," so the capacity is clearly there. Returning to the opening with the same concreteness — grounding the hatred in a single sensory or situational detail rather than broad complaint — would give readers something to grip before the more abstract emotional argument unfolds. Additionally, the line "To live so bad that I forget myself" feels slightly off grammatically in a way that blurs rather than sharpens the meaning; deciding whether "so bad" is deliberate colloquial voice or an unintended slip, and committing fully either way, would strengthen that closing movement.

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I agree that you could express the exasperation in the first line, by saying "You always do what you want', instead of "what I least want."

1] I think that the implication of "him' doing what he wants, establishes that you didn't have a part in the decision to...
If you really want to emphasize the difference in what you wanted to do, you could write it as: "We never do what I want!"

2] "You always overcomplicate things"; I think this is one of the best lines of the whole poem, not the best, but right in there with the better of them. LoL Kind of complicated huh?

3] the more I read this over, the more it sounds like a child who has been brought to a screeching halt; from a wild, unsupervised life, to a regular, protected childhood full of love and... anyhow, very well written for the most part, just watch your syntax, nice storytelling. ~ Geezer.
P.S. Is there a dog in there somewhere?