raj

Jul 01, 2018 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Humble Roses

listen to the roses
they gently speak
a language
beyond words

nourished by the soil
groomed by the season
bearing colors of life
gifted with the art of saying
sorry or thank you
with a fragrance
that touches the soul

a fragrance
they give back
even when they wither
till their last breath

— raj, Jul 01, 2018

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

Critiques

Rula

7 years 11 months ago

Oh raj

how I love this!
If only some would learn the roses talk!
It will be absolutely an awesome world.

If you've ever thought about shortening the title
I will be happy to offer some :)

raj

7 years 11 months ago

good to know Rula you liked

good to know Rula you liked this...i always like to use short titles so would welcome your suggestion...
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lovedly

7 years 11 months ago

Lovedly

thanks for the read is all I can say because I do not know how to respond to a comment for the sake of comment.
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lovedly

7 years 11 months ago

I liked the idea of a rose giving a fragrance "in their last breath." genius! I would consider using a different word than "soil" in the middle or the end of the poem, since it is a short poem and there might be other words you could use, to avoid repetition.
greg

raj

7 years 11 months ago

Thanks Greg for the read and

Thanks Greg for the read and comment....you are right about repetition of word "soil" ...i will look for an alternative...

05.07.18 : I've done the edit today based on your suggestion.
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Rula

7 years 11 months ago

Sorry for

the belated reply

I thought you can just say "Rosy talks" or
"Gentle talks"
"Gentle Whispers"
"Loyalty Never Dies"

Mmmmm... that's all I think... keep yours, it's really an apt one.

raj

7 years 11 months ago

No need to apologize Rula...

No need to apologize Rula....you are a busy woman...

thanks for the suggestions for the title...i will think over them ...
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Rula

7 years 11 months ago

A good edit

Raj
But you've missed the "L" in the first line when you did the change.

raj

7 years 11 months ago

thanks for the catch Rula..

thanks for the catch Rula...will insert the l again...good to know you liked the edit of the title.....
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Eumolpus

7 years 11 months ago

very nice poem!

It's so hard to write any original poem about roses among the untold thousands written about them.
I think you have an original here. Good stuff!!

raj

7 years 11 months ago

Hi Eumolpus

thanks for the read and your words of appreciation. Coming from the likes of you mean a lot.

Regards..
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