Human

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem builds toward a clear cosmic scale, and the opening image of "an ocean of stars" that "opened two brilliant eyes" is its strongest moment: it fuses the vast and the intimate in a single gesture, giving the reader a face where they expected only distance. That instinct to personify the immensity is worth trusting.

The parenthetical refrain — "(I remain...)," "(I change...)," "(And hence...)," "(I am true.)" — is an ambitious structural choice, offering a second voice that comments on the unfolding scene. It suggests a progression toward the final "(I am true.)" as a kind of arrival. At present, though, the logic linking these fragments is hard to follow. The move from "remain" to "change" implies a paradox the poem seems to want, but "(And hence...)" asks the reader to accept a conclusion whose reasoning has not quite been shown. Making the middle terms carry more weight — letting the imagery in the stanzas enact the shift from remaining to changing — would let that final claim land with earned force rather than assertion.

The rhyme scheme is uneven in a way that draws attention to itself. The third stanza, where "robes" and "probes" sit adjacent, and "hands" chimes only faintly with "bends," reads more strained than the looser cross-rhymes of the first two stanzas. Since "probes" exists largely to meet "robes," the line "As he gently probes" feels chosen for sound before sense; a verb that clarifies what the man is doing to the void would strengthen both the image and the music.

The phrase "a world of lost worth" states its meaning directly where the poem elsewhere prefers to show it. Given how vividly "two brilliant eyes" opens the piece, this abstraction sits below the level the imagery sets. A concrete detail of what that lost worth looks like would keep the poem in the sensory register it handles best.

The closing couplet, "Dimmed are the stars, / Broken are the bars," returns to the earlier images of stars and bars and closes the frame cleanly. That echo is effective and gives the ending shape. Tracing that same care back through the middle stanzas would bring the whole to the level of its beginning and end.

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that you have set too high of a bar for the most of your descriptions?

Evolution being too broad a subject for the definitive [behind bars], you need to set it up first, before you can stuff it behind bars, in a cage. Maybe I'm not giving our readers enough credit, but I found it a bit difficult to figure it out that you are writing about an astronaut/ clergyman who despairs of our moral health... I would opt for following the A.I.s advice in trying to narrow down a description of the lost worth and degradation. ~ Geezer.
 

 afraid that my critique was too simplistic, but not altogether misunderstood. I did in fact get the gist of the poem. I merely replied in the laconic fashion that I imagined the average layman might. 
The verses:

Stood amidst heaven and earth, 
A man clad in black and white, 
Looking down at a world of lost worth, 
With lustre bright,

Fluttered the man's robes, 
As he gently probes, 
Into the void with his hands, 
As the void bends,

certainly do suggest a "man of the cloth", and gently probing, into the unknown void... I rest my case. ~ Geezer