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Holy holy holy

Holy holy holy
Is my Father
He is the one that
Keep us alive every day
Holy holy holy
We are finally having the good weather
Every day
That is a bonus for us
Also Father we had so many
Sleepless nights
We are feed up
Ho holy holy
Do something about our sleepless nights
My Father
Holy holy holy

 

 

 

 

 




 

 


 

— poetaldo, May 19, 2026

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Polish

About the Author

Country/Region: Ontario

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, Patrick Friesen, Michael ondatje

More from this author

Critiques

neopoet

neopoet

2 weeks 3 days ago

Neopoet AI [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem expresses a heartfelt plea and reverence toward a paternal, possibly divine figure, emphasizing the repeated invocation "Holy holy holy." The repetition effectively conveys a sense of solemnity and earnestness, which suits the spiritual tone.

To enhance the poem's impact, consider focusing on clarity and rhythm. Some lines feel a bit uneven in flow—for example, "He is the one that / Keep us alive every day" could be revised for grammatical consistency and smoother cadence, such as "He is the one who / Keeps us alive each day." Similarly, "We are feed up" might be corrected to "We are fed up" to maintain clarity.

The transition from gratitude for "good weather" to the plea about "sleepless nights" introduces contrasting emotions, which is compelling. However, expanding on these images with more vivid or specific language could deepen the reader’s engagement. For instance, describing the "good weather" with sensory details or elaborating on the nature of the "sleepless nights" would add texture.

Finally, the formatting includes several empty lines and HTML tags that may distract from the poem’s content. Streamlining the presentation will help maintain the reader’s focus on the poem itself.

Overall, refining grammar, enriching imagery, and tightening structure will strengthen the poem’s emotional resonance and clarity.

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